Bounty feature

Baby know-how

When you’re expecting your first baby, you’re focusing on your pregnancy and can’t see beyond the labour. So here’s the Bounty mums’ lowdown of what life after birth is really like

Any mum will tell you that having a baby is incredible and life changing. But when you’re expecting your first, it’s impossible to know what life with a newborn is going to be like. Naturally, you’re concentrating on what’s happening in your pregnancy, and how you’re feeling now, rather than wondering how you’ll feel when your baby’s a week or a month old.

But, just as making a birth plan can be reassuring and helpful to prepare for and during labour (even though you can’t predict how it will go on the day) arming yourself with a ‘new mum and baby plan’ can be just as useful.

Thankfully, there is loads of practical information on becoming a mum for the first time on Bounty.com and in the famous Bounty guides. And now we’ve compiled this unique new mums’ need-to-know feature. Our mums reveal how they felt and functioned for those first few days and weeks, to give you a bit of a helping hand as you start life with your amazing new arrival.

We had loads of brilliant replies from mums and there is room for only some of them here. To read more, and for the unedited versions of the quotes here, just go to the forums, ‘7 -12 month baby’ and ‘General topics’ and look for the thread What’s your top advice for first-time mums to be? Thanks to all those mums who gave us their valuable advice.

Best wishes for the birth of your baby and life as a new mum.

Bounty mums tell you about:

• Giving birth
• Breastfeeding
• Sleeping
• Buying for baby
• Gut feeling
• Taking care of yourself
• Diet and exercise
• Asking for help
• Day to day life

‘Be prepared that your birth plan may not go to "plan". I just would say to mums-to-be to focus on the end result and not how you get there, because the minute I saw my baby I forgot all about how I wanted my labour to be. All I wanted was to hold my baby.’ Claire180607

‘No one ever mentions about the serious loss of blood after giving birth. I mean to the extent that walking from one side of the hospital bathroom to the other left what looked like a mass murder trail on the floor!’ Hels80

‘Pack loads of maternity towels in your hospital bag...I mean loads!’ Alexandra, 32, London. First-time mum to a daughter, 10 months

‘If you have a c-section, no matter how fit you are it’s a struggle for the first few days to get in and out of bed! Ask a nurse to show you the best way to get up. I was shocked at having to ask the nurses to help me with this simple task.’ ValerieB

‘I've had three c-sections, and the one piece of advice I would give is to eat food with lots of fibre in it - for obvious reasons! When I had my first c-section, I was too frightened to go to the loo and I ended up needing help! ’ Sarah, 30, mum to Rebecca 11 years, Oliver seven years, and Bayley eight months

‘Pack maternity clothes to come home from hospital in, ‘cos you'll still look about six months pregnant when you’ve had your little one!’ Louise, 25, Liverpool. Mum to Mia-Rae, nine months

‘Nothing will prepare you for how much you love your new arrival. You may also be very emotional at the start. I remember crying all the time for no reason, just because I was so happy and overwhelmed by it all.’ minky 101

‘If you can breastfeed, do! Boobs are the most practical invention in the world! As mentioned by other mums though, do get baby used to a bottle as well. I made the mistake not to get her used to it in time and it was/still is a dilemma.’ Alexandra, 32, London. First-time mum to a daughter, 10 months

‘If you decide to breastfeed, accept that it will be hard work for the first few weeks. Your baby and you are learning a new skill and you have to get used to it.’ Debbie, 32, mum to two boys – Oliver, three and Daniel, one

‘When you are finding it difficult, please find out from your health visitor where the nearest breastfeeding group is. If you don't breastfeed, remember it’s not the end of the world, you tried your best.’ michepeters

‘Breastfeeding may be natural - but it is still a skill you need to learn. I wish I had spoken up and asked for more help. Instead I felt like the only mum who couldn't do it and gave up so early. I've already got the number of a lactation counsellor for when I have my next one – I’m determined to do it this time! woolleysheep.’

‘Even if you are going to breast feed, ensure you have a couple of bottles and some formula just in case to prevent the unnecessary stress I went through in those first few days.’ Mumofisabella

‘When you're breastfeeding, your other boob leaks! No one told me that! And it's not just a little bit, mine flew out at the same rate as the one dd was feeding on!’ Helen, 33, mum to a three year old daughter

‘Always carry a spare t-shirt for yourself just in case. dd threw up on me many a time and I am so glad I used to carry a spare top.’ lynne43

‘Something I wish I had known - everyone always said about taking a spare set of clothes with you for your little one, but no-one mentioned taking a spare top for me! I went Christmas shopping with my parents when dd was just three weeks old. She decided to have a big sleep while we were out and didn't wake for her normal feed. So, despite having breast pads in, I was drenched!’ Gellycat

‘I was told this many a time, and boy I wish I had listened. When baby is asleep, have a nap. There were times when I had about four hours sleep in four days as little one was sleeping through the day but awake most of the night.’ Michelle, 41, Northampton. First-time mum to Misty Rae, one

‘Sleeping… start as you mean to go on. I wish I had.’ 28thmaydue

‘Sleep when your baby sleeps! It’s a must - a tired and emotional mummy is no good for your baby. Pull your phone out, put a sign on the door!’ zbeedee

‘If you can sleep when baby does, then do. I couldn’t and, well to be honest, I don’t remember much of the first five months as I was a walking zombie.’ Anne and Jack, 17 months

‘I never slept when mine did either, so speaking from a tired mum sleeeeeeeeep!’ daddysgirls

‘Sleep when your baby sleeps. I ended up having the majority of my sleep from 3am till 10am as that was when dd suffered less colic! Who cares what time it is, if you need sleep then do!’ Gellycat

‘Don’t go mad buying loads of clothes - they really do grow out of things so quickly – or loads of the latest gadgets. Some of them are great and total lifesavers but the majority of things are a waste of money! Expensive is not always the best.’ zbeedee

‘Don't buy all the gadgets, I bought no end of bottles because I was going to bottle feed but I breast fed for seven months and then she wouldn't take to the bottles I'd bought.’ Michelle, 41, Northampton. First-time mum to Misty Rae, one

‘Don’t go overboard with the stuff you buy. Accept second hand stuff.’ HeidiH

‘Borrow things. We did. When dd was born, we did not buy a thing till she was here. Don’t go mad on clothes as you get given lots and look out for bargains in the sales, even if you buy for the following winter/summer.’ lynne43

‘Essential buys... grobags [baby sleeping bags], foam bath sponge support for baby, Bumbo. Worst buys - baby bath, dummies, all these creams etc I didn’t need, bottle warmers.’ SazziexxAiden

‘Yep, definitely invest in a sleeping bag. No need to worry about covers/blankets smothering lo!’ Kerry Cole

‘Nappy wrapper is a waste. Once it’s full, you are faced with empting a bin full of dirty nappies and it’s not nice at all.’ Anne and Jack, 17 months

‘My advice would have to be to listen to others but most of all listen to your own heart. You’re the mummy and you’ll feel guilty, scared and useless enough without anyone else telling you. Oh and enjoy every minute.’ joellis64

‘Trust your instincts. Other people will always try to pooh-pooh your ideas/thoughts. If you think something is wrong, it may well be, and if you think one thing works better than another then do it the way you want.’ nibbs1201

‘Keep calm. Don't let people tell you you’re doing it wrong. Everyone has to learn somewhere. Do what you think is best, trust in yourself.’ jonic22

‘Don't be afraid to trust your mummy instincts when it comes to your little one, because even if it doesn't feel like it, you really do know best.’ alisale

‘Do what feels right for you, all babies are different… you can't get it wrong.’ Dawn49

‘Well I have had a baby, or two (ok, eight so far and pregnant again!) My main bit of advice is, for the first few days at home with baby, don’t get dressed! If you are taking it easy in your pyjamas… visitors will think you need rest.’ Mum2eleven Plus

‘Relax. If you’re stressing out, your baby will sense it - you can do it! Do what’s right for you and your baby. And you’re not alone – there’s always somebody who will help out; even when you feel there isn't, there is.’ Pebbles1007

‘Don't try to be super mum! Your body has just gone through an exhausting experience and you need rest and time to recover. You cannot do everything and as long as your little one is happy then stuff everything else.’ milliesmom

‘Do not try to be super woman! Just kick back and enjoy a “babymoon” with your newborn.’ woolleysheep

‘Be prepared for the fact you're going to be shattered in those early weeks, and I mean shattered. Get the lie-ins while you can when you’re pregnant. ’ kazcaine

‘Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be a perfect mum or be too hard on yourself if something goes wrong. We're only human and I'm sure that whatever mistake you make, a million others with have done exactly the same.’ lou270279

‘Nothing ever prepared me for how hard things are after the birth. [But] enjoy every second - your housework will always need doing - your baby won’t be a baby forever.’ Joanne, 28, Goole. Mum to Alfie, three, and Max seven months

‘My advice would be, rest while you can before the baby comes.’ Newmumjo

‘Do your pelvic floor exercises...you will probably still literally p*****g yourself with laughter months after giving birth.’ Alexandra, 32, London. First-time mum to a daughter, 10 months

‘Your body will not just snap back to your pre pregnancy size. Some mums are still big 12 months after giving birth; you don't need to rush off and crash diet. It took nine months to get big and it's going to take a while to go back.’ emns2004

‘Don’t exercise too soon after having baby. I thought it would be ok, so when Aiden was four weeks old I went roller blading, fell over and broke my hand and wrist. Then I found out that your bones are weaker [after having a baby] so you shouldn’t even think about it. So I had a newborn and an arm in a cast for two months... not good, girlies!’ SazziexxAiden

‘Ask your other half for help - most men need asking! And it doesn’t come as natural to them.’ Louise, 25, Liverpool. Mum to Mia-Rae, nine months

‘Let your partner do things with the baby – do not look over his shoulder, "helping". It's his baby too and he loves him/her as much as you do. Let him learn as well, his own way.’ laihge

‘If help is offered then accept! I didn’t always like to, but when mum did our washing for the first three or four weeks it really was a godsend.’ kazcaine

‘I've been really stubborn about accepting help. If you're offered it - take it!’ Leigh1403

‘Accept offers of help and if you are struggling then ask for help, even if it is a friend who can sit with your baby while you have a shower. Maybe you and a friend with another baby could do the same for each other. It does not make you a bad mum.’ Debbie, 32, mum to two boys – Oliver, three and Daniel, one.

‘Get into a routine even if it's just the bedtime, and try to get out and meet other yummy mummies. Strangely, it can be a lonely job if you are on your own all day.’ Loopy9

‘My best advice would be to read The Baby Whisperer book. As a first time mum, you really don’t know what you are doing, yet in this book it helps you develop your natural instinct.’ Sarah, mum to Katie, two-and-a-half and Joseph, one, and step mum to James, 14.

‘Don't rely too much on the baby books, some of the methods are really extreme and you will only stress yourself trying to do everything.’ kibs123

‘Try not to worry if it is not like the textbook says. I breast fed on demand and my son found his own routine. Remember, all babies are different.’ minky101

‘I would say first off, enjoy every minute with a newborn as they grow up so quickly. Then try and get in to a routine with the baby as quickly as you can - that really helps.’ catbraid

‘Get someone to bring round a food parcel instead of flowers when the baby comes home. My mother in law brought me a hamper of food I couldn’t eat when I was pregnant like pate, salami and soft cheeses. It was divine!’ Bex87

‘Don’t be too hard on yourself if nothing works out how you plan eg the birth, the breastfeeding, weaning etc. You cannot plan these things and must go with what is best for you, not only your baby. And take as many pictures and video recordings as you can, as a lot of it will be a distant memory in a few months and it’s so lovely to look back on.’ Juicypudding

‘Really enjoy your maternity leave with baby and get out and about as much as you can. I had a phobia for ages about going out with Jack. However, he was brilliant and loved going on little adventures, even if it was just a walk around the park.’ scarybanks

‘Don’t compare your baby to anyone else’s. They all develop in their own ways: my son was crawling before he could sit unaided.’ Anne and Jack, 17 months

‘Don't feel bad if you don't “click” with your baby at first. You're going to be knackered and in demand for weeks. It takes its toll. It won’t take long before you would mow somebody down who dared to comment on your child!’ wendparkinson

‘Embrace the change in your life. I was too scared to leave the house for ages for fear that my daughter would cry in public. This was the daftest feeling as she loves being outside and is so much more settled when we get home if she's been on an adventure. Most importantly of all though - enjoy your baby! Time goes so fast, and in a whirlwind of feeding, changing and sleepless nights, that they grow without you noticing. Before you know it, your baby is all grown up and you’re craving another one!’ sazzler1974

‘Always have the baby changing bag stocked up ready so you know you won’t forget anything when you leave the house.’ baileys2006

‘Don’t stress the small stuff - the housework is not a life or death issue. Look after yourself - you need to be well to look after your baby. Ask for help - this does not mean you have failed. Enjoy every moment, as it passes a lot faster than you think.’ alibali6

‘Don't panic when your hair starts falling out when your lo is about three or four months old. It’s normal and to do with hormones, apparently. Just something you don't get told about!’ Forgs

And finally, these from Claire, 24, mum to Callum, seven months, (completely unprompted – thanks for the thumbs-up for Bounty forums Claire!) and Chrisy1977

‘My advice to any new mum would definitely be get registered with Bounty and get on the forums. You will get fantastic advice, help, laughs, confidence, cheering up and much, much more from a whole host of like minded mummies!' I certainly couldn't have done without it!’ Claire

‘My advice would be, never listen to any advice. Everyone has an opinion. Find out what you need to know from family, friends… basically anyone you want to ask, then decide yourself what is best and tell all around you to mind their own!’ Chrisy