Bounty feature

Time for You

From feeling low to new mum sex, here we take a look at

• Baby blues and postnatal depression
• Serious sadness
• One new mum’s story
• Sex and the new mum
• Getting your body back

Feeling down?
You have a beautiful new baby, you’ve recovered well from the birth, but you feel depressed, you can’t sleep, and find yourself crying for no reason at all. If this is you, you’re not alone. Not everyone adapts to motherhood quickly and easily. If you’re feeling down after the ‘baby blues’ of the first week have passed, you may have postnatal depression. This is an illness that is thought to affect about one in 10 women, but many women don’t tell anyone how they’re feeling. If you get postnatal depression, you will start to feel increasingly miserable. Looking after yourself may seem like too much trouble, and you may lose interest in your baby. You may also feel:

• Anxious and worried.
• Tired because you can’t sleep.
• Unwell all the time.
• Unable to concentrate on anything.
• Weepy and sad.

If you think that you have postnatal depression, don’t struggle on alone. Postnatal depression is an illness, and you can be helped through it, just as you would be if you had any other illness, like flu or a bad back. It doesn’t mean you’re a ‘bad mother’ or that your baby will be taken away. Talk to your health visitor or make an appointment to see your GP. If you don’t feel up to arranging these things, ask your partner or a friend to do it for you. You may also like to contact the Association for Postnatal Illness (020 7386 0868) or Meet-a-Mum (0845 120 3746), both organisations can help.

Serious sadness
A very small percentage of new mums suffer from a severe illness called ‘puerperal psychosis’ which is much more serious than postnatal depression. Puerperal psychosis is rare, but it can be very frightening. The new mother may get very anxious, or panic, or believe that someone is trying to harm her or her baby. If this happens to someone you know, alert a midwife or health visitor. The mum may need hospital treatment, and getting help is important.

Rosie’s story
‘Caren was about six weeks old when I decided I had to tell someone how bad I was feeling. Caren was obviously well cared for, and I had been putting a smile on every time the health visitor came round. Maybe I was worried no one would believe me if I said there was something wrong. But in the end I just told my GP that I wasn’t feeling right and he said, “Oh, one of the community nurses will come round and have a chat with you.” She came the next day, and came back again regularly for a while. Just knowing that someone was going to visit, who was interested in me, wanted to know how I was feeling, and wasn’t just going to ask questions about the baby all the time, made all the difference. I got time to talk about me, and that’s what I needed.’

Sex and the new mum
Don’t worry if you don’t feel like making love for quite a few weeks after your baby’s birth. All sorts of things can stop you:

• You will probably feel tired.
• Opportunities for sex may be limited with a new baby.
• You might feel sore and be frightened that lovemaking will hurt.
• You might be worried about getting pregnant again. Your partner will probably also be feeling tired, and he may well be frightened of hurting you when you have sex. So, for a while you might both not be very interested. That’s fine! When you decide to go ahead:
• Make sure you’re using a contraceptive.
• Make sure the conditions are right – baby fast asleep, both of you relaxed.
• Take it slowly and gently; if it hurts, say so.
• Cuddling, touching and kissing may be enough to begin with.
• Use plenty of lubricant if you need to, to make penetration easier. If you find sex painful after the first few times, see your doctor or go to your Family Planning Clinic. You might have stitches, or a scar, that haven’t healed properly. You can also use your six-week check to ask about any problems you’re having with sex (see ‘Your Six Week Old’).

Getting your body back
Physically, your body will not immediately return to its pre-pregnant shape. But don’t rush yourself to get back to normal; it took you nine months to reach that shape. Crash diets will interfere with breastfeeding and may make you feel tired at a time you need all your energy. A sensible diet and graded exercise programme is the best way to lose weight.

For the next chapter, Your Five Week Old, Click here