However many conversations you have with your midwife, she can never predict exactly what’s going to happen during your labour or how you’ll feel. This is because your body – including your pelvis, cervix, hormones and muscles – is put together in a slightly different way from anyone else’s. There’s also your pain threshold, stamina, partner’s genes and the size and position of your baby to consider.
The good news is all the hard work of labour is unlikely to come as a surprise as healthcare professionals are keen to stress this. But the parts they tend to leave out are often the enjoyable bits. Prima Baby midwife Nikki Khan says, ‘Generally, the things women are surprised by are the things that aren’t in the books. For the best advice, talk to your midwife or an experienced mum.’
1 You may start to feel really cold
Even if you have your baby in summer and the heating is on full blast, you may still shiver with cold. Some women feel chilly all over, while others just feel it in one area. It’s common for feet to be affected. This may be because more blood is going to the womb, which means less is getting to the extremities. Wear warm socks or, if you’re at home, keep blankets handy. After the birth you may feel shivery when your body relaxes, and when blood flow supplying the placenta has stopped.
2 You may be able to ignore the pain
It’s unusual, but some women can relax and zone in on their contractions so well that they almost go into a trance. In this state, pain can be more or less ignored by the brain as the mum-to-be shuts off from everything except the exertion of labour. You can increase the chances of this happening by reading up as much as you can about labour and going to antenatal classes. Try to keep anxiety to a minimum by going to relaxation classes. Being with someone you trust helps and you may find it easier if you know the midwife.If you reach a stage where you can’t take any more pain, midwives agree that usually means the birth is imminent.
3 You might not want your partner’s help
Your birth plan might include having a soothing back massage from your partner, or getting him to hold your hand and mop your forehead. However, when it comes to labour, the pain may make you feel so irritable that you can’t bear being touched. If this happens, you might be surprised at how well your partner tunes into your needs, especially if you explain to him beforehand how you may react. The best thing a father-to-be can do is offer his support when you need it and be prepared to stay in the background when you don’t.
Nikki says: ‘I’ve witnessed some bad arguments in the delivery room. Some women slap their partner’s hand away if he even tries to mop their brow! The gas and air can make some women irritable, too. It can be distressing, especially if the woman’s partner has hardly ever heard her swear. You and your midwife should talk to your partner and warn him about this before the birth.’
4 You can see your baby’s head come out
There’s nothing quite as moving as watching your own baby being born. But at the time, there seems little chance of you seeing the birth owing to your body’s geography. So while the midwife and your partner may have a perfect view of the action, your first glimpse of your little one generally comes later. It doesn’t seem fair, but don’t think your only chance of seeing the birth is via a video. If you’re feeling up to it, your midwife can let you watch the delivery with the aid of a mirror. Some midwives carry them as standard for this very purpose but not all do. If you’re keen to be one of the first to see your baby’s head emerge into the world, it’s a good idea to pack a mirror in your labour bag.
5 Contractions may continue after the birth
This surprises many mums, yet it’s almost universal. It’s common to focus on the birth itself, so midwives often forget to mention that the contractions won’t stop when your baby’s delivered. These occur because your womb needs to expel the placenta, which stays in your body for up to half an hour after the birth. You may be offered an injection of Syntometrine, a synthetic hormone that helps your womb contract. If you prefer to let nature take its course, the contractions won’t be as sharp but there will be more of them. Either way, you won’t be able to avoid contractions, though they will be bearable. When the placenta leaves the wall of the womb you’ll feel a little bit of pressure as the midwife pulls it out.
Nikki says: ‘Women tend to focus so much on their babies that they forget they have to deliver the placenta as well. They’re often surprised at the placenta’s size – it can be quite unnerving how big it is – and even though it’s soft, it may put pressure on any wounds created during the birth as it’s being delivered.’
6 You may go into shock
As soon as your baby’s born, you may shake with shock. This is not like shivering when you’re cold. It’s a much stronger tremor that makes your teeth chatter and your legs shake, and you can’t control it. It can be overwhelming, but usually stops within minutes. It’s a common reaction to the hard work of labour, particularly when a baby is born very quickly.
Nikki says: ‘In the second stage of labour, when you start pushing, your body will twitch as your muscles tense. If you have an epidural, this can happen even if you can’t feel anything. It can also occur as a side effect of the drugs.’
7 Expect ‘after pains’ for several days
This cramp-like discomfort, a bit like period pain, occurs when your uterus contracts back to its pre-pregnancy shape. After pains may start soon after the delivery, but they are much less common in first deliveries, so often come as a nasty surprise to mums who’ve just had their second babies. They tend to increase in strength with the number of pregnancies you have. This is because the more your uterus is stretched, the harder it has to work to return to its original size.
The pains tend to be a bit stronger if you breastfeed too, because each time the baby sucks, it stimulates your womb to contract. If you do suffer, ask your midwife for a painkiller, and take comfort from the fact you’re getting your old shape back.
8 You may feel hungry after the birth
As soon as you’ve held your baby, one of the most overwhelming feelings may be thirst or hunger. Depending on the length of your labour, you may not have eaten for 24 hours or more. You will have also used up a tremendous amount of energy and now your body is getting ready to produce milk for your new baby, so if your stomach is telling you to eat or drink, don’t ignore it. Don’t feel embarrassed to ask hospital staff for tea and toast, but there may not be any other food on offer until the hospital’s next mealtime, which could be hours away. Take high-energy food in your labour bag, such as cereal bars or nuts and raisins.
Nikki says: ‘Many women are sick during labour, which is why some people say you shouldn’t eat. Instead of eating a big meal, keep your sugar levels up with cereal bars, glucose sweets or toast. That way, if you are sick, there’s less to bring up.’
‘I just had to keep eating and eating’
Selvei Topping, 35, a human resources director from St Alban, Hertfordshire, is mum to Alexander, 5 months.
Selvei says: ‘I was surprised how hungry I was during labour. Between gulps of gas and air, my husband kept shoving pieces of Mars Bar in my mouth – I just had to eat and eat.’
‘A friend told me labour was very tiring, so we came prepared. We brought lots of juices, ice cubes made with orange juice, glucose tablets, jaffa cakes and cereal bars. ’
‘The glucose tablets were the best thing as they’re so easy to eat. My husband was very helpful and kept feeding me and I repeatedly sent him out for supplies!’
‘I know some women are discouraged from eating during labour, but mine lasted 13 hours and I don’t know how I’d have got through it on an empty stomach. ’
Fortunately, the midwives at the birthing centre were very encouraging; when we arrived, the first thing they asked was if we wanted to put anything in the fridge.’
‘My second birth was much better’
Annabel Rodgers, 30, a sales administrator from Woking, Surrey, is mum to Harvey, 3 months and Haidee, 2.
Annabel says: ‘I had a difficult first birth, so I was worried about the second one, but it was a much better experience.’
‘I was in labour for three days with my first child, Haidee. On the second day I asked for an epidural, which slowed everything down. Then Haidee’s heart rate became irregular so I was prepared for a Caesarean. But in the end I had an episiotomy and she was delivered by ventouse. It was a bad birth and I couldn’t sit down for a week.’
‘The second time round, I was scared I’d have a similar experience but it was completely different. I had gas and air, a pethidine jab, and then I delivered Harvey in just 5 hours 15 minutes. The contractions were stronger the second time, but it was much quicker and I didn’t need stitches.’
‘The difference between the births was incredible and I was shocked I’d given birth without assistance.’
