Single parent? Creating the best dating profile possible

On your own as a new parent? It happens – a loss by separation or death, or you’ve decided you’ve waited long enough for The One and have gone it alone in having a child. But now maybe you’d like to put yourself out there to find a new partner. What are the main dos and don’ts?

DO

Sell yourself; Whether you are creating a dating profile to put into a dating app or website, or simply getting your mind around what you might offer someone you meet, be prepared to sell yourself. If you were applying for a job you’d know to describe what you’re good at, what interests you, to avoid clichés in describing yourself, to be confident and show your fun side. Do the same when thinking of yourself as a romantic partner.

Be honest. Big up your abilities but don’t lie – a 20 year old photo of yourself is just asking for disappointment (and you may well put off the silver fox or vixen of your dreams who doesn’t date younger people). And point out that as a single parent you will have times you can’t make dates and that daytime weekend events may mean kid comes too.

Think about what you want. Do you need a transitional partner – someone to bridge the gap between your last relationship and a permanent one?  Or a non-serious just-for-kicks person for the moment? Or are you looking for someone to stay and share your life? What you really want can dictate what you say, and what sort of dating service you use. 

Tell your friends. You need your friends to know – to be there to protect you in the early days of a new date, but also to help you get your profile right. They know you best and can look with a fresh eye at what you’ve said or thought and to suggest changes and additions. 

Look for friends. Having told your friends, enlist them not only to help you find a new romantic partner but to widen your network. If you make the effort to search out new activities or friends, you may find The One is there as well – a friend or relative of your new non-romantic mate. 

Mention your child. Make it clear from the outset that you’re a double act. If a prospective partner can’t accept your child is part of the deal, then you really don’t want to waste time on them. 

DON’T

Go on about your child. Yes, your date needs to know, but they do want to get to know you as an individual first, parent second. In fact, someone who seems to be mainly interested in you because you have a child may be just the person you should avoid. 

Feel apologetic or second rate. You have a child. That’s part of your life, not a penalty. Resist any pressure, from yourself or anyone else, to see it as a problem. 



Bounty “Sex & Relationship” articles are written by expert Suzie Hayman. Suzie is agony aunt for Woman magazine, a Relate trained counsellor, and an accredited TripleP (Positive Parenting Programme) parenting educator.  She makes frequent appearances on TV and radio and as well as writing 31 books, Suzie writes features on parenting, relationships, sex and couples counselling, for a wide range of national magazines and newspapers.