Choosing a name for your baby isn’t as simple as it sounds and there are many pitfalls along the way. Brilliant Baby Names by Laura and Geoff King offers a few tips on how to avoid them.
How not to fall out with your partner
Names can trigger powerful emotions, and often new parents find themselves arguing over names that bring up deeply-held childhood feelings – remember that ‘Richard’ who you never really got on with at school?
Stay tuned to each other during disagreements, says Brilliant Baby Names. “What this means is quashing any urge to ridicule or put down your partner’s choice of name, and not putting up a wall to them either. In the end, the only name you can choose is one you’re both happy with. There have been cases of parents making secret visits to the registrar’s office to secure their own choice of name. That certainly sorts out the naming problem; what it does to the relationship is likely to be less positive!”
According to author Leslie Dunkling, “Some couples are still arguing nine months after the birth and are almost at the divorcing stage. I advise each partner to give the names on their list a mark from 1 to 20. That way, she gives her favourite 20, the one she dislikes most, 1, and he does the same. In the end they probably end up with one name both gave 12 to, which, when they really think about it, is a good compromise.”
Keep the family at bay
Sharing ideas with relatives before the baby is born is another danger zone, as some family members could have strong feelings about a name, and may think they have a right to influence your choice.
“Keep the name between you and your partner and not present it until the baby is actually born. When that happens, your relatives will immediately be more interested in the baby itself and you will have neatly skirted the naming problem.”
Beware the ‘stored name phenomenon’
“Some girls of 12 or 13 have already decided what they are going to call their children; it’s known as the stored name phenomenon,” says Leslie Dunkling. “In America there was a popular TV programme involving three heroes, Joshua, Jason and Jeremy, and seven years later when their fans started to have kids, these names appeared in great numbers.”
Don’t go over the top
A Swedish couple who wanted to name their child Metallica are particular experts on this subject, the book says. “A child’s name needs to be approved in Sweden and so the naming authorities objected on the grounds that it was the name of a rock group (and also, presumably on the grounds that it’s silly). The case eventually went to court and Sweden now has a Metallica Tomaro. That said the court’s decision is not always in favour of the parents and previous names rejected by the authorities include ‘Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116,’ which apparently is pronounced Albin.
Similar laws exist in Brazil, where one father was banned from naming his son Saddam Hussein. Nine years later, he was prevented from calling another one Osama bin Laden.
Don’t try too hard to impress
Stephen J. Dubner, co-author of Freakonomics, says,
“Parents, probably much more than they care to admit, are sending a signal with the name they give their child – a signal to their family and friends about how hip or traditional or culturally aware they are. With parents you see it most plainly when they tell a stranger a baby’s name and wait expectantly for a positive reaction. There’s nothing so sad as the sight of a new mom telling the grocer her baby’s name is Atticus, then becoming crestfallen at the blank stare she receives.”
Brilliant Baby Name: How to choose a name that you and your child will love for life
Laura and Geoff King, Prentice Hall Life, £5.99
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