Establishing a bedtime routine

Establishing a bedtime routine

At the end of a long day juggling being a mum and working, the last thing you need is your children's bedtime being chaotic, noisy and stressful.

Before you go back to work, it's a good idea to get a bedtime routine established so the end of the day is a wind down for everyone.

Consistency counts

From a very young age, babies recognise and enjoy consistency - they like knowing what's happening next as it makes them feel secure. Even if you're not a fan of rigid routines during the day, in the evening a bedtime 'ritual' helps children of all ages to relax and set the stage for sleep.

If you've been away for much of the day, you will probably be keen to spend some time with your baby or toddler rather than packing them straight off to bed. At the same time, after a tiring day, you may need time to yourself or with your partner in the evening. A good bedtime routine can kill two birds with one stone by ensuring your children get quality one-to-one time with you, while still enabling you to have some grown-up time in the evening.

Mum of two boys Lisa has been strict about bedtime since she returned to work part-time when each of her children were a year old: 'It works for everyone. My boys always have a bath then a bowl of cereal, then relax with books before bed. They are in bed at the same time every night, which means they are never tired and grumpy in the morning and I get to have some downtime as well.'

A few ideas

There's no 'right' way of doing things or a 'right' bedtime. There are many examples of bedtime routines and rituals and you can create one that suits you and your family. You might want to think about:

  • A last burst of energetic running around
  • A quieter sort of play before a bath
  • Whether or not you want your children watching television before bed
  • How you will mark when it's time to start the bedtime routine - maybe a song for younger babies or a five-minute warning or tidy-up for toddlers.
  • How long bedtime takes - you'll probably need to allow at least an hour
  • Whether you give them a bath every night, or bath less frequently
  • Will bedtime will be set in stone even if you or your partner aren't home from work, or will one of you keep the children up so you can both see them?
  • Whether you need to do anything to switch from work mode to mummy mode when you step through the door so you can really focus on the children until they are in bed.

Bath, milk, stories, bed

The classic 'bath, milk and stories, bed' routine works for many working mums, including Charlotte, who returned to work full time when her first son was four months old: 'Bedtime is between 7 and 7.30. It really helps me out as I try to leave the office a bit early to see the boys for an hour or so before they go to bed.'

Bear in mind that your bedtime routine will evolve and change as your children get older - a six month old baby won't need to be read a story every night, while a three year old may need time to calm down from the excitement of mummy being home if you've been out all day.

Whatever your family's bedtime ritual, if you keep it consistent and low-key, you'll give yourself the best chance of a reasonably calm end to another day.

Comments

Submitted by NikkiDanielle on Wed, 26/10/2011 - 17:52.
is it recommended to bath your baby every night or is every other night ok?
Submitted by jummmy on Thu, 28/07/2011 - 10:19.
hi everyone my little girl is 2yr next month she find it diffcult to sleep in the night not until10.30pm have try all i can is not working,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Submitted by loopy2850 on Tue, 26/07/2011 - 20:47.
My LO is 13wks 2moro with only a little help from me has best part put herself into a routine. She's up between 7-7.30am 4 breastfeed & bottle (been combine feeding since birth as very hungry baby!), then plays 4 a while til about half 9 then has a nap til about half 11. Mid-morning bottle (8oz) then plays in her bouncer til lunch. 1.30-2pm another 8oz then another nap til around 4-4.30pm when she has 8oz plus baby rice. Top to toe wipe down unless bath nite (twice a week sunday & wednesday usually) around 6pm then plays til 7pm when she has last breastfeed & 4oz bottle - all that with juice inbetween thru-out the day! Bedtime between 7.30-8pm & she sleeps rite thru to the morning. Am hoping it last as by the looks she teething soon ;-D
Submitted by KatieJaydensMummy on Sun, 24/07/2011 - 02:27.
Hi everyone Im a new mum my baby is 4 months old now, after reading this it has got me thinking. My baby is very good and always sleeps all through the night however im not sure if im putting him to bed too late. he usually has his last bottle between 10.30/11.30pm and then he will sleep right through until 9/9.30am the next morning. I'd like to start our day together earlier say about 7am but he just wont wake me up at that time, while it is great to get sleep i would much rather put my baby to bed earlier in the night and wake up earlier in the morning if that makes sense?? basically im just not sure what sort of time i should put him to bed as at his young age i dont like him going too long without a bottle during the night, he wont wake up once he is in bed, he just seems to know night time is bed time and he wont wake up until the morning.
Submitted by loopy2850 on Tue, 26/07/2011 - 20:57.
Hi ya, am a new mum myself - my little one sleeps thru as well but i find if i put her down between 7.30-8pm she'll sleep thru til 7-7.30am. Maybe if u try & get ur LO sleeping from about 9pm onwards he mite wake up a little earlier. Hope this helps xxx
Submitted by dollysteph89 on Wed, 20/07/2011 - 16:42.
Hi. I've always kept my routine the same with my son since he was 3 months old. I let him watch fireman sam at 6pm after tea then depending what night it is he has a bath at 7pm (he has them on alternate nights) then I put him in his bed at half 7 no light just his cot mobile playing. I come downstairs get his bottle ready then go back up give him his bottle. I place him back in his cot and leave him with the mobile on again, 20 mins later go check on him. If still not ready for sleeping I leave him for another 20 mins. By this point he is normally ready for sleeping, so I go back up put him on his front (that's how he's slept since he was 2 weeks old) tap his bum for 5 mins and by this time he is usually asleep. It takes an hour in total. Hope this helps.
Submitted by Ames003 on Tue, 19/07/2011 - 12:20.
Hi everyone, has anyone got any tips on helping me to get my 10 month old baby girl to sleep through the nights? She has a bath about 6ish, story time and bottle at 7pm, which she usually falls asleep with and gets put down in her cot in oen room, but between about 8pm - 9pm she seems unsettled again, she settles back off after I have been up to her several times and she's had drink of water. She has also taken to waking several times in night and just wants settling again and cries if I leave the room whilst she's still awake (i have recently returned to work part time), she is then waking for her 1st morning bottle about 5am (used to be 6am), she will go back to sleep after that til about 7am. I have tried topping her up with another feed about 9pm-10pm. Any ideas?? Getting tired of getting up 4 times a night! :-)
Submitted by phoebesmum10 on Fri, 15/07/2011 - 19:49.
sunnymoo - have u tried still going to her but just giving her a cuddle when she wakes...this is how I got my baby to go longer through the night...we're up to 5 hours undisturbed sleep this week! I try settling her with a cuddle first but if she is still restless I'll feed her - the next time she might go down with a cuddle and then maybe all it will take is a back rub...Mind u I do sumtimes feed her each time - a perk of bf'ing is it's readily available! xx
Submitted by sunnymoo on Thu, 14/07/2011 - 15:21.
Hi everyone, I just wondered if any of you had any ideas for getting my lo who is 6 months to sleep through. I am breastfeeding on demand so I have never been able to get her in a proper routine. She had been sleeping from 10pm til about 8am and I thought everything was going great but the past month or so she has been waking two or three times a night. When she wakes I have been feeding her which I now think is a mistake but the trouble is if she is left too long she really works herself up into a state and I thought this was easier. I have to go back to work at the end of next month and I am really tired and can't see how I am going to be able to function properly if this carries on. Any help would be great. x
Submitted by k7xxcxx on Tue, 12/07/2011 - 22:23.
Hi, Have any of you tried dream feeding? I swear by it...I bring my 9 week old daughter up to bed to wind down around 8pm, she is usually asleep by 9:30pm at the latest and then I dream feed her around 10:45...this is just topping her last bottle up and then she sleeps through! She had her injections last week and was feeling a bit poorly so was waking around 3-4am as she was vomiting a few bottles up in the day...give it a try...everyone I have spoke to has tried it and swears by it..even Holly Willoughby does it!!
Submitted by leenabo on Tue, 12/07/2011 - 21:48.
Hey Chacey1, My baby boy was exactly the same....its so hard and i know how you feel! Hes now 6 months and i can assure you it does get better! Only prob is there is no secret 'way' .... all i can say is do what you think is right and just persevere! I would be up til 1030 every night with my little one and he would sleep no more than 2 hours.....i listened to the advice from the health visitor and to be honest like your baby it made him worse! I felt like everyone around me had the 'perfect baby' and i was doing something wrong! I literally had to rock him to sleep every night, but all babies are different! It does sounds like your baby girl has a reflux though and you can get help and medication for this.....sometimes they suggest weaning them early like they did with my baby. Now hes 6 months and sleeps 7 til 7, personally i think it was when i started to wean him.....he seemed more content and would sleep longer aswel! Also not to sound patronising but are you doing stimulating her enough....i mean to tire her out in the day....i used to take my baby to the sure start groups just to watch even when he couldnt join in...it seemed to tire him out? I also found that swaddling my little boy would soothe him to sleep....i mean i had to wrap him really tight! I also did the baby massage course at my local sure start group.....its for babies from 8 weeks old and honestly the effects are amazing! Anyways....ive prob not helped much but just thought sometimes its good to here your not the only one going through it! Good luck xxx
Submitted by shamurocks1 on Tue, 12/07/2011 - 20:56.
Chachey1 - My LO is just starting to get into a bed time routine; feed (she's breast fed too), bath, cuddles, another feed then bed. It seems to be working really well for us. I have never stuck to feeding her at set time, it is completely on demand and as she seems to be really hungry just before bed I just go with it. She has a bath in low level lighting and my husband and I talk very softly to her the whole time as she sometimes gets a bit unsettled, we also give her lots of smiles the whole time. I then get her dry and ready and dressed for bed and feed her again if she wants it - both of us laying down on my bed (again in almost darkness). Her cot is almost touching my bed so she can see me from it which also seems to help. We usually start the routine about 7ish and it usually finishes before 9. JJ (who is 13 weeks) is also quite windy, no, very windy and I can not say enough how important it is we get her wind up before bed. If not she is very unsettled and if she does manage to drop off to sleep it will only be a matter of time before she wakes and is sick everywhere. There are some great winding techniques on-line but we also use infacol every feed. We find the 'rockaby' massage works fantastically for bottom wind. I have to say I'm not a fan of control crying although I know it has worked for some people. For us she just would get in such a state that it would be even harder to get her to go to sleep. She's even sobbed in her sleep which I don't think is good for them or you. I have finally decided that I am the mummy and mummy knows best. Sure there is loads of advise out there; HV's are always ready to help, but you're the mummy and I say go with your instinct. If you don't like the control crying don't do it. My GP even told me that the more you go to a baby who is crying the more secure and independant they will be as a toddler (something to do with not wondering when/where the next cuddle will be coming from). Anyway good luck xx.
Submitted by Chachey1 on Tue, 12/07/2011 - 13:00.
Hi everyone, i'd really appreciate your opinions and any help you can offer. My baby girl is 8 weeks today and will not go down in her cot or moses basket during the day or at her bedtime at 7pm. It can sometimes get to 9 or 10pm before she finally drops off. once she has slept for sometime she is ok and we have no problem getting her back to sleep at 11pm after her last feed but at this point we are in bed (in the same room) too. She literally screams the house down for hours. From the word go we have had problems with her bringing up entire feeds which has sometimes happened in her cot. (This is due to prolems with wind as I have extremely fast let down and she gulps her feed so quickly)I'm thinking this has really scared her and may be the cause. I have tried controlled crying where my HV said to consistantly go back to her every 5mins but this can take up to 40 mins and last night ended up in her being sick again - this time obviously due to her being so worked up. What are your thoughts, i'm desperate to have some downtime with her in bed, especially as she sleeps very little during the day but am terrified of long term negative effect on her
Submitted by GDarroch on Sat, 09/07/2011 - 12:26.
I started my wee girl in a routine from about 4 weeks. I started putting in her moses basket in the bedroom after her feed about 7pm and sitting with her until she went to sleep (I know that's probably not recommended but at 4 weeks I felt she was too young to be left on her own). She fell into her routine really quickly and from about 6 weeks onwards was sleeping through the night.She is now 7 months and there are no issues with putting her to bed (so far!!)
Submitted by abiandalfie on Wed, 06/07/2011 - 10:32.
You can start a routine whenever you feels best, Some dont adapt straight away but, my 8week old boy sleeps 6-7 hours at night and has done from being 2weeks
Submitted by claire2390 on Sun, 03/07/2011 - 12:08.
how young should u start a routine ?
Submitted by Rebecca3891 on Thu, 30/06/2011 - 10:56.
Hi sharpie25, my baby did the same thing when started weaning, I was totally confused as to why as had followed hv advice to have 3 meals and bottles in between. Elder relatives advised to ignore this, feed 3 meals a day, shortly followed by bottle and bottle before bed. Juice at mealtimes and in-between. After 2 days she was back to sleeping through and eating more plus dropped a bottle. I also switched to follow on milk a month later and this resulted in 2 wake ups through night so went straight back to stage one infant formula. Good luck!
Submitted by Shexxisarah on Tue, 28/06/2011 - 01:11.
I have a 15week old baby was born 9 weeks premature please help me on how to get her to bed at a reasonable time she has a bath at 8 and in bed sleeping by 9 but she is then back up at 9 for a feed she then goes straight bk down but only takes 3oz of milk so then up again at 12 and then 3 then 6 I have tryed to get her to take more milk at 9 and 12 but it's not happen xxx
Submitted by sharpie25 on Tue, 29/03/2011 - 19:07.
9 month old was sleeping through now since started weaning is waking twice a night now i'm back at work really struggling with this any ideas
Submitted by ree35 on Tue, 04/01/2011 - 17:44.
Any suggestions to getting my 9 month old daughter out of the habit of sleeping in our bed.She cries consistently in her cot and i have 2 other children so i take her out so as not to wake the others.