My baby won't sleep alone!

Your questions answered by Jo Tantum of Greatvine.com

The only way my daughter (almost 1) will sleep is if I rock her or lie on the bed with her. She also wakes several times during the night. It's exhausting - what can I do?

Having a baby that doesn’t sleep is exhausting. Your little girl thinks that the only way she can fall asleep is with your help and each night that you do this, it reinforces that thought.

She needs to have the confidence in herself that she can fall asleep on her own and you need to help her achieve this. The easiest way to do this is to start at her daytime nap. This means that has 1 or 2 chances at learning to fall asleep alone before bedtime.

Wait until she is tired but not overtired

Then take her upstairs, have some soothing music playing in the room and place her in her cot. Say, “Have a good nap!” Then leave the room.

Spaced soothing

Now you can start my “Spaced Soothing” technique. This will reassure that when she is upset you will always go into soothe her but it will also give her the confidence that she can go to sleep by herself.

Wait for 5 minutes before you go in, listening for quiet gaps. (If there is you can leave it longer as this is your baby’s way of saying she is trying to go to sleep on her own.)
When you go in gently say “Sssh”, stroke her head, and put your hand firmly on her chest. Do this for 1-2 minutes and then leave the room.
Continue this every 5 minutes (This is the time for a 1 year old).
Please remember your baby is only upset because she is tired and frustrated and just wants to go to sleep, not because she is hurt. Some Mums actually leave it longer before they go in as it sometimes makes your baby more cross if you go in too often.
I recommend that your baby is not left any longer than 10 minutes before going in to soothe them.
If your baby doesn’t settle after 30 minutes then get her up and try again later. When you wake your little girl, make a big fuss of her and make her feel happy when she is in her cot. This means she will soon love going to sleep in her cot.

* The information in these answers is not a substitute for examination, diagnosis or treatment by a Health Care Professional. If you are worried, please consult your HCP.

Jo Tantum

Author of the best-selling book “Baby Secrets”, Jo Tantum is a baby sleep and twin’s specialist and the sleep expert for Prima Baby magazine. Jo’s own pioneering sleep technique, “Spaced Soothing” is a failsafe method that teaches babies to enjoy their sleep and empowers parents to understand their babies better. For individual advice you can trust, book a private phone call with Jo at www.greatvine.com/jo_tantum