Mums are often divided over the question of setting a routine, but with twins you are more likely to want at least some degree of order.

Babies and children like routine – they like to know what’s coming next and like familiarity. But this doesn’t have to mean going to bed at 7pm on the dot, it just means that they understand that a bath is followed by a feed which is followed by their cot at roughly the same time each day.

Where do I start?

A good place to start is to watch what your twins are doing over the first six weeks or so as they are likely to have some sort of inbuilt routine.

Jot down when they wake and want feeding, and you can then use their timings to establish a routine that will suit you all. This way you’re not forcing your own routine on them, and if the twins are out of kilter you can gradually shift one more in line with the other over the course of several weeks.

Routine setting tips for twins

1. Establish a calm, simple bedtime routine that the twins will recognise as the signal for sleep. It may involve a bath, a story, a song and a cuddle.
2. Put them down while they are sleepy but not asleep so they learn to fall to sleep on their own without the aid of the breast or your arms.
3. Try not to worry about one twin waking the other and resist the temptation to run to the crying one first. Check the calm one is settled and then sooth the unhappy one.
4. Avoid all stimuli in the night. Keep lights off or just a very low night light and avoid talking.
5. Some babies react well to swaddling as a way of making them feel safe and secure but others hate it. Try it and see if it helps.

Safe sleeping for twins

You may choose to put your twins in the same cot. The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) says this is fine, but offers the following guidelines to be extra safety conscious:

1. Never put twins together in a Moses basket or small crib as they may overheat in the small space.
2. Only place them side by side in the very early weeks when there is no danger of them rolling towards or over each other.
3. It may be sensible right from the start to place them at opposite ends of the cot, ‘foot to foot,’ with their heads towards the middle of the cot. Each twin will then have their own bedclothes. There is no need to use rolled towels, foam wedges or other objects between their heads.
4. By the time the twins are big enough to roll over they should be moved into their own separate cots.
5. You should always apply the same sleep safety advice as you would with a single baby.

The expert view

Jeanne Tarrant, team manager for the Royal College of Midwives says: “It’s usually helpful for the mothers if they get into a routine and then the babies follow. So do things at the same time every evening. For the first six to eight weeks you’re unlikely to get a routine just as with a singleton baby, so they are unlikely to wake for feeding at the same time or need their nappies changed at the same time.

“You do have to work out the best way for mum and babies. This is where the partners can be highly involved in supporting new mums finding their feet and developing good and strong bonds with their babies. If the babies are in hospital spend as much time as you can with the babies and express breast milk to support their development. In some places you can do kangaroo care and skin to skin contact, some encourage mothers to leave a breast pad with their smell — anything to help with the bonding.”

A mum’s view

Nancy Smith, mother of Joseph and Eva, says: “They recommend that the baby is with you for the first six months and it’s good advice but for us it wasn’t practical. We tried it for about six weeks and we couldn’t do it, we weren’t getting any sleep as I’d wake up with every twitch they made and you need some sleep. We fed them at the same time. Some recommend that you stagger it so each baby gets individual time but that didn’t work for me so I fed them together. It was almost impossible sometimes but you just have to try your best and work it out.”