Routine for twins

Routine for twins

Mums are often divided over the question of setting a routine, but with twins you are more likely to want at least some degree of order.

Babies and children like routine – they like to know what’s coming next and like familiarity. But this doesn’t have to mean going to bed at 7pm on the dot, it just means that they understand that a bath is followed by a feed which is followed by their cot at roughly the same time each day.

Where do I start?

A good place to start is to watch what your twins are doing over the first six weeks or so as they are likely to have some sort of inbuilt routine.

Jot down when they wake and want feeding, and you can then use their timings to establish a routine that will suit you all. This way you’re not forcing your own routine on them, and if the twins are out of kilter you can gradually shift one more in line with the other over the course of several weeks.

Routine setting tips for twins

  1. Establish a calm, simple bedtime routine that the twins will recognise as the signal for sleep. It may involve a bath, a story, a song and a cuddle.
  2. Put them down while they are sleepy but not asleep so they learn to fall to sleep on their own without the aid of the breast or your arms.
  3. Try not to worry about one twin waking the other and resist the temptation to run to the crying one first. Check the calm one is settled and then sooth the unhappy one.
  4. Avoid all stimuli in the night. Keep lights off or just a very low night light and avoid talking.
  5. Some babies react well to swaddling as a way of making them feel safe and secure but others hate it. Try it and see if it helps.

Safe sleeping for twins

You may choose to put your twins in the same cot. The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) says this is fine, but offers the following guidelines to be extra safety conscious:

  1. Never put twins together in a Moses basket or small crib as they may overheat in the small space.
  2. Only place them side by side in the very early weeks when there is no danger of them rolling towards or over each other.
  3. It may be sensible right from the start to place them at opposite ends of the cot, ‘foot to foot,’ with their heads towards the middle of the cot. Each twin will then have their own bedclothes. There is no need to use rolled towels, foam wedges or other objects between their heads.
  4. By the time the twins are big enough to roll over they should be moved into their own separate cots.
  5. You should always apply the same sleep safety advice as you would with a single baby.

The expert view

Jeanne Tarrant, team manager for the Royal College of Midwives says: “It’s usually helpful for the mothers if they get into a routine and then the babies follow. So do things at the same time every evening. For the first six to eight weeks you’re unlikely to get a routine just as with a singleton baby, so they are unlikely to wake for feeding at the same time or need their nappies changed at the same time.

“You do have to work out the best way for mum and babies. This is where the partners can be highly involved in supporting new mums finding their feet and developing good and strong bonds with their babies. If the babies are in hospital spend as much time as you can with the babies and express breast milk to support their development. In some places you can do kangaroo care and skin to skin contact, some encourage mothers to leave a breast pad with their smell — anything to help with the bonding.”

A mum’s view

Nancy Smith, mother of Joseph and Eva, says: “They recommend that the baby is with you for the first six months and it’s good advice but for us it wasn’t practical. We tried it for about six weeks and we couldn’t do it, we weren’t getting any sleep as I’d wake up with every twitch they made and you need some sleep. We fed them at the same time. Some recommend that you stagger it so each baby gets individual time but that didn’t work for me so I fed them together. It was almost impossible sometimes but you just have to try your best and work it out.”
 

Comments

Submitted by victoriasplanet123 on Sat, 31/03/2012 - 11:01.
to cazzycoz. I had the same experience. Thought it was an ectopic pregnancy, was in a lot of pain and the scan showed that there was nothing in my uterus at first, then the bleeding started, and then they're a healthy twin pregnancy!!!! I'm now 19 weeks, and have bled almost constantly, and am in a lot of pain, which means I've struggled to consider that they actually might appear (if that makes sense). I already have 2 children (6 and 15) and I'm really struggling to get my head around this. I also had post natal depression with both of my other children. I know I'll cope eventually, but I feel very detached to the twins. I feel as though they are not actually mine, even though they're obviously inside me. I have the benefit of being a mental health nurse, and I'm not beating myself up about it all. I've been referred to the mental health midwife and have a plan in place for starting medication in the 3rd trimester. I'm also under the physio's for the pain. I also know that I'll eventually bond (even though it took almost 18 months with my son) who is my lil matey now. I know you said you've not got a supportive partner at the moment, but my advice is take support and help wherever you can. Speak to your midwife, mayse suggest a referral to HomeStart, or other organisation. Take 'short cuts' if you can, don't beat yourself up about cleaning/breast feeding/etc. I'm guessing your twins are here or nearly due, so goodluck XxX
Submitted by sharny82 on Wed, 23/11/2011 - 03:21.
@nena89. I was 20 weeks when they discovered that my daughter (twin2) was slightly smaller than my son (twin1). I had scans every 4 weeks until my 28 week scan showed that my daughter stopped growing. The reason was down to IUGR. I was hospitalised for five weeks for constant monitoring of the blood flow to both babies and was given steroid injection to help the babies lungs develop incase of early delivery. My daughters blood flow continued to be restricted but the registra wanted to keep the babies inside me until 34weeks. The blood flow stayed strong enough for the babies and I eventually gave birth at 34weeks. My son was a healthy 4lb 7oz but my daughter was 2lb 15oz an the size of a 27 weeker. It was a very scary time for me but I had every faith the the hospital and they made all the right desitions. Both babies spent some time in NICU. My son came home on day 12 and my daughter came home on day 24. My advise to you is rest, don't get worried or stressed (easier said than done, I know) and ask questions. If you have something on your mind, ask! They hospital will monitor your babies really closely but ask them out of curiosity if your one baby is suffering from IUGR. Good luck and all the very best! My two are almost 10 months old now and you would never know they were prem :o) xx
Submitted by sharny82 on Wed, 23/11/2011 - 03:14.
@nena89. I was 20 weeks when they discovered that my daughter (twin2) was slightly smaller than my son (twin1). I had scans every 4 weeks until my 28 week scan showed that my daughter stopped growing. The reason was down to IUGR. I was hospitalised for five weeks for constant monitoring of the blood flow to both babies and was given steroid injection to help the babies lungs develop incase of early delivery. My daughters blood flow continued to be restricted but the registra wanted to keep the babies inside me until 34weeks. The blood flow stayed strong enough for the babies and I eventually gave birth at 34weeks. My son was a healthy 4lb 7oz but my daughter was 2lb 15oz an the size of a 27 weeker. It was a very scary time for me but I had every faith the the hospital and they made all the right desitions. Both babies spent some time in NICU. My son came home on day 12 and my daughter came home on day 24. My advise to you is rest, don't get worried or stressed (easier said than done, I know) and ask questions. If you have something on your mind, ask! They hospital will monitor your babies really closely but ask them out of curiosity if your one baby is suffering from IUGR. Good luck and all the very best! My two are almost 10 months old now and you would never know they were prem :o) xx
Submitted by 1Christie on Tue, 18/10/2011 - 20:57.
Hello all, I also have twin girls - four and a half months now and they were born 8 weeks early due to spontaneous onset of labour. They were in special care for about 4 weeks so we had them home before my due date. The first month or so at home was very hard for us, but we dont live near family so if you do, ask for their help. They cried sometimes during a bottle and during sleep, we later learned it was reflux and they were started on infant Gaviscon, which helped save my sanity.I spent most of my time trying to get one of them back off to sleep so that they could both be fed at the same time, something that now works really well, and they also go off to sleep at the same time (give or take ten mins). The hard work in the very beginning re; routine is so worth the effort and you will love being the parents of twins because you get twice smiles and love :) Good luck
Submitted by nena89 on Sun, 09/10/2011 - 09:59.
Hi all mums and mums to be. Im 22 weeks pregnant with twin girls, really scary being my first pregnancy. My partner and I have been told that one of our girls is really small and they are worried that her brain isnt developing enough. I know that twins are not the same size, bt it has really worried us. if there is any mums out there that has been through through this or anything a like, then some advice and reaserance would be a massive help.
Submitted by cazzycoz on Fri, 16/09/2011 - 20:42.
Hi everyone, i have just had a ectopic pregnancy scare only to find out at a scan that the pregnancy is not only in the correct place but i am having twins. Totally unexpected as there is no history of twins in my family. i already have 2 daughters aged 4 and 8 so i am petrified at the minute especially as me and my partner are currently separated. anyone with any advice it would be grately appreciated as i dont know how im going to cope!!
Submitted by gmmcvey015 on Sun, 04/09/2011 - 21:38.
Hiya mums! I'm pregnant with twin girls there due around Christmas, I have 2 girls already, by the time the twins arrive my girls will be 3 and 1 so my hands are going to full, looking forward with excitement but there is a lot of worry too!!
Submitted by TwinMum122011 on Tue, 23/08/2011 - 18:31.
Hi to everyone especially those expecting. My twins are 6 months now and doing really well. I just wanted to reassure you that not all twins are hard work. I may just be super lucky but mine have been sleeping through since they were about 3months. They have learnt to be calm and patient as they may not always get the attention they want when they cry. My only advise is to look at the TAMBA website and find a local twin club. Mine has been a blessing. Meeting with other twin mums can be both reassuring that your feelings are normal and they will be full of useful advise. When people tell you it's double trouble just tell them it's double the love Good luck to you all
Submitted by Tosin22 on Thu, 18/08/2011 - 18:10.
Hi, I'm extremely nervous and very excited all at the same time. This is my first pregnancy, and Im expecting triplets. Currently 18 weeks. They will be delivered (hopefully) sometime between November and Christmas. I have no idea what's in store for me, apart from the fact that I know its going to be extremely hard. Reading Jemma2311, is (in a way) comforting to read, as I have pictured myself feeling the way you've felt, and have felt bad for feeling that way. I feel relieved to know that I am not alone in that way of thinking. (Congratulations by the way on your twin girls). However, reading Gem446, you have definitely resorted my confidence and belief in routine, and your description of night time and day time. Thank you, and not just to you two, but to the rest of you and Congratulations to you all
Submitted by jemma2311 on Sat, 13/08/2011 - 21:26.
Hi, I have identical twin girls who are 5 months old. The first 3 months were really tough, I am amazed that I was able so survive on 2 hours sleep a night!! They were really hard work at first, would never sleep for longer than 20 minutes at the time and would cry most of the time, even sometimes during a feed. I know it sounds bad but some days you just wanted someone to take them for the night so you could get some sleep. We found out they had a lactose intolerance and changed the milk, since then they have been much more settled and happier babies. They do get some colic in the evening and we have a few tears, but they are like different babies. I know it is hard to hear when you are going through the tough stages, but trust me it does get easier take it from a twin Mum who knows. Don't wish their life away when it is tough as they grow up quickly!
Submitted by gem446 on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 22:09.
Hi, I just wanted to say to all Mum's/mum's to be Congratulations!! My twins are amazing, I wouldn't be without them. It was very hard in the first 2 months, but it soon got easier. I will say that I found a routine to be incredibly important! It is worth being quite strict (obviously not in the first 6-8 weeks) as my twins were sleeping 12 hours overnight from 15 weeks (7pm-7am). We gave them very clear signs that it was night time (low lights, no talking, a smile and a cuddlle is ok) and kept daytime full of fun. This has worked wonders and they are very happy, smiley babies. Good luck everyone and enjoy them, they are fantastic and well worth all of the hard work!!
Submitted by gem446 on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 22:09.
Hi, I just wanted to say to all Mum's/mum's to be Congratulations!! My twins are amazing, I wouldn't be without them. It was very hard in the first 2 months, but it soon got easier. I will say that I found a routine to be incredibly important! It is worth being quite strict (obviously not in the first 6-8 weeks) as my twins were sleeping 12 hours overnight from 15 weeks (7pm-7am). We gave them very clear signs that it was night time (low lights, no talking, a smile and a cuddlle is ok) and kept daytime full of fun. This has worked wonders and they are very happy, smiley babies. Good luck everyone and enjoy them, they are fantastic and well worth all of the hard work!!
Submitted by kerysuperkat on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 21:45.
Hi I'm Kerysuperkat and my daughter is 19 months, I'm pregnant with twins 5 months now. I'm a single mother and also have a 9 year old, 10 year old and 11 year old. I'm due on christmas eve, what fun lol.
Submitted by becciebooboo on Wed, 20/07/2011 - 14:38.
hi loopy27loo, im in a similar boat to you! my daughter is 18 months and im 18 week pregnant with twins! i worried at 1st how hard it is going to be,but we are very lucky.i just keep thinking that the 1st year will be hard but after that should be easier!
Submitted by loopy27loo on Sat, 16/07/2011 - 16:06.
i am 18 weeks now with my twins was really surprised when i found out,but really excited now cant wait to find out what they r,i have a 2 yr old little girl so trying to get her used to having 2 siblings i know its gonna be hard but will be worth it,i think u r right twinmum13 we r all very special mums been blessed with 2 babies.
Submitted by twinmum13 on Wed, 01/06/2011 - 15:27.
My twins are almost 9 months old now and although I love them to bits it has been very hard. To all the new twin mummys who have posted comments I agree with you all. Until a couple of months ago I only got about 3 hours sleep a night. It's strange but you just get on with it as you know deep down it will get better eventually. And it does get better. I hated people saying that to me especially if they hadn't had twins but it is true! Also do what you think is best. People will be eager to give you lots of advice but it isn't always that helpful especially if they haven't had twins. Never worry about what other people have done as every baby is different and so you do what is best for you. Never be afraid to cry. I spent weeks crying- sometimes you need to! Make sure you have lots of support from family and friends so that you can try to get a regular break from them as it will make you feel so much better. It helps if you can get out for just a short time each day. I now have a gorgeous boy and girl (yes I was lucky enough to have one of each!) who are happy and although they don't always let me sleep in the night I couldn't be happier. Being a twin mummy is a really special thing which not many people get to experience so I feel lucky. Well done to all the twin mummys out there you are all very special!
Submitted by kippers1 on Tue, 03/05/2011 - 20:51.
getting really nervous and anxious about twins.26wks pregnant nearly. by myself so not sure how i will cope. all advice greatly received
Submitted by Yvonne200 on Tue, 01/03/2011 - 22:54.
My twins are now 10 month old & what a year it has been. All twins parents will get stressed & very little sleep. But to be honest I cant even remember the very first days. Only getting 2 hours sleep & me crying all the time seems so far away. It will get better, please trust me. One night I remember hoping that social services would take my kids away cos I had no sleep at all. My partner works away & I also had two large dogs to look after. I can now look back & laugh at myself. I have two beautiful children who sleep all night & eat for fun. I feel so sorry for new twin parents cos we argued every 5 mins about stupid things. Take one day at a time & take 5 mins away from your twins if thing get bad & just say to yourself 'I can do this'. Thats the best advice I can give. Also take no notice of people giving out advice until they have had twins themself.
Submitted by redfox16 on Thu, 24/02/2011 - 09:53.
My twins are just about to turn 9 months, and we had them in a bedtime routine from 5 weeks, it worked a treat and they started sleeping through about 12 weeks. If one woke he wouldnt wake the other, but if the other woke he would wake the other, wierd... then at about 20-25 weeks they lost their sleep through, and this turned out to be worse than the initial no sleepin as we had gotten used to sleeping again. They are now pretty much sleepin through again, but we have bad nights every now an then. They have slept on their own since 1 day old, and i find it better now they older as when together they torment each other!! lol. All i can say is persevere, it does get easier, i was told that, and i was skeptical, but it honestly does, only thing is now they mobile......argggghhhhhh. Good luck all twin mums and dads xxxxx
Submitted by rosetwins on Fri, 17/12/2010 - 00:05.
RE: 'By the time the twins are big enough to roll over they should be moved into their own separate cots.' Why is this? Is it only because they will disturb each other?
Submitted by clover3 on Wed, 15/12/2010 - 18:59.
my twins are 5 weeks old tomorrow, and I get on average 2 hours broken sleep a night- they sleep alot during the day and only lightly at night. I hate 'tandem' feeding- I find it too stressful and find it wakes them up too much at night so feed them on demand individually. Which consequently means I am up continually feeding, winding, rocking to sleep, trying to put them down without waking them, and repeating sequence till dawn, when we give in and have them in bed with us which they love. If we leave them to cry to go to sleep they end up waking each other up and causing double havoc. Have left them crying for nearly 1 hr and it only ended up with them in a rage and taking even longer to go to sleep. They also suffer with colic, altho not too badly. They had a pretty hard birth, i've herd that this can reflect in their behaviour patterns, especially as it happened at night which is when i have the problems. I too worry i'm doing it all wrong, and that their behaviour is a result of my inexperiece in parenting and knowing what kind of routine is best and sticking to it. Does it ever get easier?
Submitted by Jodiethetwincarrier on Tue, 09/11/2010 - 22:25.
My twins are now 16 weeks and we are starting to settle to some sort of routine - feeding-wise and sleeping at least! Only real problem? Getting them to settle in their cots. neither twin likes falling asleep independently and will scream until held, where they fall asleep in our arms. Are we being soft or should we continue doing this until they are calmer at that time of night? Both suffer with colic and reflux on an evening. Help!!