Sex and the new mum

Sex and the new mum

Sex and the new mum

Don’t worry if you don’t feel like making love for a few weeks after your baby’s birth.

All sorts of things can stop you:

  • You will probably feel tired.
  • Opportunities for sex may be limited with a new baby.
  • You might feel sore and be frightened that love-making will hurt.
  • You might be worried about getting pregnant again.

Your partner will probably also be feeling tired, and he may well be frightened of hurting you when you have sex. So, for a while you might both not be very interested. That’s fine!

When you decide to go ahead:

  • Make sure you’re using a contraceptive.
  • Make sure the conditions are right; baby fast asleep, both of you relaxed.
  • Take it slowly and gently; if it hurts, say so.
  • Cuddling, touching and kissing may be enough to begin with.
  • Use plenty of lubricant if you need to, to make penetration easier.

If you find sex painful after the first few times, see your doctor or go to your Family Planning Clinic. You might have stitches, or a scar, that haven’t healed properly.

You can always use your six week check to ask about any problems you’re having with sex.
 

Comments

Submitted by leighsaandmike01 on Thu, 26/04/2012 - 20:16.
yes mommie 2011 i hate the thought of my partner seeing my body too as it has changed soo much!!
Submitted by mommie2011 on Mon, 23/04/2012 - 14:44.
my daughter nearly 4month now and due to my pelvic floor being weak i hate the thought of trying to have sexual intercourse as anyone else felt this way ?
Submitted by clairebear28111988 on Fri, 20/04/2012 - 12:08.
really need tips on getting my sex drive back! since bubbas come along 8 months ago ive gone off affection with partner and hate the thought of sex. wish there was a simple cure :-(
Submitted by krista219 on Tue, 17/04/2012 - 13:37.
Hi, My little'un is 11wks and I LOVE my patener, but the thought of sex, even the word just, well....... makes me shudder. I feel quite bad, coz before the pregnancy and through we had a Healthy sex life, but now its a Big No no. He's randy as hell tho, its just me. And if I'm honest it is taking a toll on our relationship
Submitted by maxine2tymmum on Wed, 28/03/2012 - 00:58.
i was 11 days after giving birth with my first
Submitted by katienightingale91 on Mon, 26/03/2012 - 15:00.
hi i had sex all the way through my pregnancy until the day before i went in labour than 3 weeks after we had sex again..not everyone does not want it. but its normal. we just have a good sex life and always have. having a baby has not changed that x
Submitted by lavasi on Tue, 20/03/2012 - 11:45.
hi i'am a 1 week pregnant.can we have sex during this period?and in my vegina there are some sort of sore and i feel bit uncomfortable doing sex after i pregnant?may i know the reason to this condition?
Submitted by lyndalea on Thu, 08/03/2012 - 15:20.
my daughter is 7 months now and me and my partener have probably only had sex about 5-6 times im fine with not doing anything but a cuddle and an odd kiss but i dont feel like i want sex anymore ive tried dressing up and lubes but nothing seems to working and im getting to the stage now where i thinks he gonna go with someone else someone help me please!
Submitted by Toriw131111 on Thu, 08/03/2012 - 13:04.
m
Submitted by Toriw131111 on Thu, 08/03/2012 - 13:02.
My baby is almost 5 months and I've managed to get away with not having sex since the month before he was born! That makes 6 months without... Have to say that I felt fine with sex during pregnancy and felt good about myself and my body but since having the baby I'm quite happy being covered up and just having hugs. Apart from the worry about getting pregnant again I just really don't feel like it or being that intimate with my partner still. In fact it's the furthest thing from my mind. I'm getting a good night's sleep as baby sleeping through fine, I'm not tired, I had a C section so no stitching etc or internal pain to experience ( I think.. don't know!!) Is this normal? Does anyone else feel like this? Not sure how long I'm going to carry on feeling like this - it suits me and OH has been really understanding with it and hasn't pushed at all but think it's getting a bit long to leave it - which is fine with me! It's my other OH i'm thinking of too? I'm pretty sure it's my hormones but just wanted to know if anyone else experiencing this too?
Submitted by nuttymummy2 on Sun, 19/02/2012 - 01:07.
sex whats that my fella wont go near me says i smell of breast milk nappies and squirty boobs dont do it for him i didnt wanna know after my first but not having the option is driving me mad
Submitted by fatima8689 on Mon, 06/02/2012 - 15:14.
yeah from reading all the comments i am feeling much better my son was a miracle hes 1 next month and i was using the implant for contraceptive its was okay at first till the moody me and angry me came out i have taken it out now as i didn't have a bleed for 10 months and i added alot of weight on... i haven't had a period yet anyone anyone know how long till i can get one..........thanks
Submitted by pervezsumon on Fri, 27/01/2012 - 13:54.
Now-a-days some of the free dating sites give service to introduce to his/her soul mate.these sites are really good.day by day this type of free dating sites demand is increasing. It’s great to have such a kind of thing but without girl its nothing.That why I find girl from the free dating sites and this sites give me the watch information. oh!i waiting for this game so long and now their are say delay it.it is so disgusting.But you people can find more important thing than game in the free dating sites like www.jumpdates.com. It’s very helpful for me.But you guys can get help from this
Submitted by pervezsumon on Fri, 27/01/2012 - 13:54.
Now-a-days some of the free dating sites give service to introduce to his/her soul mate.these sites are really good.day by day this type of free dating sites demand is increasing. It’s great to have such a kind of thing but without girl its nothing.That why I find girl from the free dating sites and this sites give me the watch information. oh!i waiting for this game so long and now their are say delay it.it is so disgusting.But you people can find more important thing than game in the free dating sites like www.jumpdates.com. It’s very helpful for me.But you guys can get help from this
Submitted by xxnicola93xx on Thu, 05/01/2012 - 17:31.
hi my son will be 2 on tuesday and i am 4 months pregnant lately while having sex i tend to tear my scar tissue a little it has only been lately tho any advice?
Submitted by kowbag on Mon, 26/12/2011 - 13:55.
my LO is now 5 months and iv had sex once since july and i didnt enjoy it :( but i just CBA glad my OH is happy with cuddles
Submitted by -natalie- on Tue, 29/11/2011 - 13:44.
My baby is 6 months old, and my sex life is actually better than ever. Sometimes it is difficult to get time, and there are times when im just too tired, but we try and make sure to make time for ourselves, when the little one is sleeping.
Submitted by emmz212 on Tue, 29/11/2011 - 09:26.
my daughter is 14 weeks old ive had sex twice sinice having her it hurt the first time, but the second time was fine, sex doesnt bother me anymore im always tired and would rather watch a flim and curly up on the sofa!
Submitted by karencraven on Sat, 12/11/2011 - 20:09.
My boy is nearly 10 months and I'm not bothered about sex really... is that normal?? I'm always tired and I would rather just watch a good film too!! Is that bad? I hope my sex drive returns eventually!
Submitted by chloesproudmum1 on Fri, 11/11/2011 - 10:49.
my lo is nearly 2 and im still not that in 2 it!would rather watch a good film or have a good kip if im honest!!
Submitted by chloesproudmum1 on Fri, 11/11/2011 - 10:42.
my lo is nearly 2 and if im completely honest im still not that in 2 it!!i do enjoy it sometimes but the majority of the time i have to say i go along with it just to keep my oh happy!im sad to say my sex drive is almost non existant!!i would rather watch a good film or have a good kip!!dont know if thats the norm in some cases or not????
Submitted by Jackie9876 on Tue, 08/11/2011 - 23:36.
My LO is almost 11 weeks and my OH and I had sex for the first time the other night, I found it a little uncomfortable. I also have a 9 year old and since having her I've had pain during sex, I've been to have this investigated by dr but no one seems to be able to give me any answers.
Submitted by FaithLParker on Thu, 27/10/2011 - 14:44.
my daughter now 13 weeks old and i needed stitches ive had sex plenty but its very painful at the start but fine after 5 minutes. any suggestions to help ease the pain apart from lubrication ?? xx
Submitted by mummyclucas on Thu, 13/10/2011 - 12:31.
my lo is 10 weeks and it still uncomfortable and painful at times. is this normal so far on?
Submitted by 1989loz on Tue, 06/09/2011 - 15:20.
uncomfortable doesn't begin to cover it! we only waited 12 days and i could have hit the roof! oh isn't exactly gentle and i aint too sure he understands what my body has been through, lo is now 7 week 2 days and it still hurts, i'm actually scared to let him near me in case it hurts but never say no as i like being close to him and he aint really a cuddly type of person
Submitted by danniella6 on Sat, 03/09/2011 - 02:04.
ohh dear after reading all your comments a fink selabercy ( if spelled right lol) is the thing for me.. I only gave birth to my daughter 4 weeks ago n had those bloody stitches.. havnt tryed sex yet would love to but would any 1 say its too early yet..?? oooo reli scared x
Submitted by izzy53 on Thu, 18/08/2011 - 11:10.
ive been feeling uncomfortable since giving birth 4 months ago but the docter says theres nothing wrong with me! so sex is out of the question. weve tried but it definately hurts. weve tried allsorts and ive come to the conclusion my bodies still not ready!
Submitted by Biba29 on Fri, 12/08/2011 - 07:12.
I dont why i just do want to have sex, it's as if i have gone of sex. My baby is eleven weeks old.
Submitted by sam86lou on Thu, 28/07/2011 - 15:40.
I had the same thing **mamarois** I found it painfull for days sometimes, I found that if i had a relaxing hot bath and relaxed my body before i went to bed helped where the stiches were. maybe try that before you panic and have to go to the GP xx
Submitted by mamarois on Sat, 23/07/2011 - 22:32.
I had a few stitches and 5 months later, sex is still painful...is this normal? I want to do it but feel bruised and stingy afterwards where the stitches were. Any one have similiar experience or should I go to the docs? Xx
Submitted by billioreilly on Tue, 12/07/2011 - 16:10.
how long do you have to wait after having your and having sex and will it hurt the first time xx
Submitted by lydiasquid on Mon, 23/05/2011 - 17:14.
I went on contraception again straight away and waited a bout 4 weeks? I dont enjoy it as much, mainly cos im tired but as kezza wrote i am breastfeeding so maybe it will be better after. Maybe hormones different. I almost feel shy in bed now which is really wierd as i have slim figure and no stretch marks! Probably cos we dint have much sex in last couple months of preg. Hard to get back into? Neway good luck mummies!!
Submitted by Anniehanhan on Wed, 13/04/2011 - 23:37.
lol
Submitted by Katie780 on Wed, 09/03/2011 - 18:46.
i couldnt wait to have sex again ! managed to wait 4 weeks tho ! it was a bit sore due to stitches etc so we tried again a week later and now it is better than ever. after 2 children i thought i would go off it or it would feel 'different' but there was nothing to worry about. i guess every woman is different and your hormones going all over the place and you might not feel confident in front of your partner with your 'new' body and you shouldn't feel pressurized into doing anything too soon. there are other ways you can show love for one another without always having sex.
Submitted by Chezoid06 on Wed, 02/03/2011 - 00:20.
I thought I was the only one that had lost my drive! I'm breastfeeding so there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Submitted by kezzanexus on Mon, 14/02/2011 - 10:45.
My libido didn't return until I finished breastfeeding at 12mo but I am finally enjoying sex again - it's a relief!
Submitted by meicha on Thu, 10/02/2011 - 14:04.
thank you....informative
Submitted by kirsty7367 on Fri, 21/01/2011 - 13:42.
my sex drive is like go for wales if you know what i mean !!
Submitted by somisolo on Wed, 08/12/2010 - 05:39.
THATS A GOOD INFORMATION
Submitted by CoralAnne93 on Fri, 13/08/2010 - 14:30.
Good to know :)