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Becoming a stay at home mum

No matter how organised you are, nothing prepares you for the emotional impact of a new baby. 

Many couples focus so much on the pregnancy and birth, they don’t think about just how much things will change between them once the little one comes along.

After a lifetime of independence, domestic bliss can take a bit of getting used to. Settling into new roles takes time and even the strongest of couples can feel the strain, so here are some tips to help you really plan for what might lie ahead.

Division of chores

You might have rubbed along nicely with equal roles before now, but there’s nothing like a baby to bring out your inner housewife.

“Stereotyped ideas of how families ought to operate die hard,” says Babyshock! author Elizabeth Martyn. It can be more difficult than you think to escape from traditional roles, and when mums give up work they can sometimes feel as if they’ve been lumbered with tasks that were once shared.

A mum's view

Bounty mum Carolyn confides, “I find it a struggle doing everything myself. He just doesn’t understand how hard it can be at times for me, being alone. It sounds pathetic, but we argue about little things."

The expert view

Elizabeth Martyn says “Imbalances which leave one partner feeling aggrieved or unfairly treated can be very destructive. Tell your partner how you feel and do your best to work together towards a compromise that gives you back some level of control within the relationship.”

What to do

Make time to talk when you can discuss things calmly and listen to each other’s point of view. It’s no use approaching the subject when you’re surrounded by a tower of dishes and a screaming baby.

Agree to split chores so you both know what is expected of you. “Write a list of weekly chores and then divide them up,” says Relate counsellor Christine Northam. It will become obvious who can do what most easily so do make sure that you both have a fair degree of inconvenience to even things up.”

Take the day off! Why not hand over the baby to dad for a day, so he can see how much work is actually involved, and that you’re not just complaining over nothing.

Money worries

Looking after a baby is a full-time job, but if you’ve always worked for a living and are used to managing your own money, it can be difficult to adjust to not earning.

Here are a few issues that might crop up, and some tips on how to resolve them.

  • Now you don't have the financial firepower will you still have an equal say when it comes to money?
  • Some women find it tricky having to ask for cash for luxuries like make-up or new clothes.
  • Your partner might feel under pressure from shouldering the financial responsibility for the whole family.

“Mum and dad will both be under financial pressure if the loss or suspension of one salary occurs. However, as Dad may be the one to keep things ticking over, he may well feel under a new kind of pressure where it all hinges on him for the time being,” says Christine Northam.

Time to talk

Money can be a major cause of rows, but can also give you a great opportunity to start working as a team, so sit down and talk, and you just might find it brings you closer together.

  • “It’s essential that you talk about money,” says Northam. Hoping for the best just won’t do, so you need to sit down with paper and pen and make definite decisions about how money is to be allocated – together.”
  • It’s never too late to start working as a team to start making financial decisions together. Agree a spending and saving plan so you know who’s spending what.
  • How you feel about money often relates to your experience as a child, and rows are often more about underlying issues that never get resolved. “Ask yourself what it is that you would really like to say,” advises Babyshock! author Elizabeth Martyn. “Is there a way to say it that is helpful, and not confrontational? It only takes one person to break the mould for arguments to take on a different pattern.”

Comments

Submitted by Cazabella1 on Tue, 21/05/2013 - 18:10.
I've made the decision to be a stay at home mum, and it's my choice and I know how lucky I am that we can (just about) afford for me to do it, but it really is hard work! There's a lot of pressure to be a supermum and keep the house spotless as well as look after the little one. Luckily hubby is very supportive but it's not all plain sailing by any means. I have started a blog about my journey, mainly to keep myself sane, but if anyone fancies a read it is becomingastayathomemum.com :)
Submitted by sb2010 on Wed, 06/03/2013 - 10:59.
I'm not totally a stay at home mum as I also run my own business from home (which throws up challenges in itself) but there are a couple things which come to mind reading others post. Firstly, whether you're SAHM or working Mum there are definate pro's and con's and BOTH are equally difficult! No-one tells you when they deliver your baby they'll also deliver a large bag of guilt which you'll carry round with you regardless of how good a Mum and/or wife you are (term used loosely I know we're not all wives and not all have partners at all!) I miss my old life getting out and about and for me baby and toddler groups are boring as hell (yes, I did say that out loud!) I am currently earning a big fat zero and this too is very difficult for a women who used to think nothing of popping down the Trafford centre for some new togs and makeup, and making a hair appointment was just run of the mill (now I'm putting off having my eyes tested as I know I need glasses and I can't actually afford them!) so whilst the advice in the article is generic and doesn't suit everyone it is a good reminder that you sometimes have to stop and consider what you need from your relationship and how to vocalise it rather than bubbling with resentment or arguing with no results. Finally, just a big hug to all the Mum's out there - we're all hero's in our own way!
Submitted by keilyjadeyauthor on Tue, 05/03/2013 - 19:13.
I became a stay at home mother, when i was 5 months pregnant with my daughter, I struggled to conceive but got pregnant first round of ivf (icsi) thank goodness. I absolutely love being a mother but it can be lonely at times when you have been used to being around work colleagues and having a little banter in the day, Adult conversation is something i really miss when i'm at home with my two children, even now after 3 years and i do go to Mom and baby clubs etc so i do mingle with other Mothers. I have written a book in my time away from the 9-5 job and it has kept me very busy with promotion and helping other women and couples in the same situation. I wouldn't change a thing! Keily J Adey Author of The Gift of Life The Gift of Life by Keily J Adey ISBN 9781843868026 Pegasus Publishers Available from Amazon, Waterstones, WH Smith, The book depository and many more.
Submitted by JKen on Sat, 02/03/2013 - 19:23.
I'm absolutely desperate to be a stay at home mum to my 2 kids, 5 yrs and 10 months, but it is not an option. I'm already dreading going back in just over a month's time. It is not a case of me refusing to go without luxuries as some of the comments suggest, I work to heat our house, have running water and electricity and help put food on the table. I feel for many women, the element of choice has long since disappeared.
Submitted by finnest on Wed, 13/02/2013 - 11:01.
My husband has made sure as long as I ask for help he will definitely cause a huge fight to discourage me asking. I have 3 kids and a delabitating health condition but I work like a slave. No matter how ill I am I have to continue. Talking makes things worse in my marriage
Submitted by Doogal321 on Thu, 17/01/2013 - 11:32.
This is all very well giving advice on how to "lighten the loads" and "hand baby over to dad for the day", "share the chores" and "sit down and talk to your partner about money worries etc", but what about us single mums who have no one to hand baby over to or share chores with, we just get on with it and moan at nobody about it because we're happy to have baby to spend time with and not handover to anybody, we just put up and shut up, and may I add, do the most fantastic job of juggling baby, life, work and monies. And dare I say, I wouldn't have it any other way, love my bambino xx
Submitted by Doogal321 on Thu, 17/01/2013 - 11:29.
This is all very well giving advice on how to "lighten the loads" and "hand baby over to dad for the day", "share the chores" and "sit down and talk to your partner about money worries etc", but what about us single mums who have no one to hand baby over to or share chores with, we just get on with it and moan at nobody about it because we're happy to have baby to spend time with and not handover to anybody, we just put up and shut up, and may I add, do the most fantastic job of juggling baby, life, work and monies. And dare I say, I wouldn't have it any other way, love my bambino xx
Submitted by jodeleeen on Wed, 09/01/2013 - 08:26.
Seriously, does it really matter what they entitle their articles so long as their help and advice can be adapted to fit your own personal circumstances?? There is far too much political correctness!!
Submitted by laicka on Thu, 03/01/2013 - 00:06.
I don't really like people calling stay at home mum a luxury. Believe me its not. I decided not to go back to work to look after my daughter now 12 months old. My salary has been more than halfed and just covers the bills and things for little one that us in addition to my partners salary which is not huge. Basically all the little things i used to get for myself, make up, clothes, etc are now a no no or very rare as all the money goes for my baby. I believe that when women with a partner say they cannot afford to stay at home is because they are not prepared to give up those luxuries. But that is just my opinion. Yes it is tough but I am so happy to be there with my daughter watching her growing up
Submitted by bumpytum1 on Tue, 06/11/2012 - 19:39.
might be helpful if you also recognised that many mums do not have the luxury of being a stay at home mum much as they might like to. My husband is giving up work to be at home as he earns less than childcare and I am the earner and I am really struggling with the fact that as a mum I have to work full time when all I want to do is raise my child
Submitted by katiem121 on Fri, 28/09/2012 - 22:57.
I guess its what makes you feel complete as a person. each to their own. At least you can teach your children yourself. i use flashcards. you can also use electronic ones - iphone app " uteach toddler " if i can help my youngest learn a little more each day it does make me feel like im doing a great job !
Submitted by Bearcub1 on Wed, 26/09/2012 - 13:48.
Well said KimmBobby, couldn't agree with you more. Although our circumstances are slightly different to yours (we are married, I'm a stay at home mum etc) the priciples of how we operate are the same. We decided that we did not want to pay someone to bring up our daughter. Not only is the cost pretty high, but the logistics of getting her to and from minders is a nightmare. So we agreed as the lower earner that I would give up my job. Whilst earning maternity pay I made a part contribution to the household expenses (we went 50/50 prior to this) and now my maternity pay has stopped my husband pays everything. As he works hard (often out house for 12 hours) I do not expect him to do housework when he gets in, although he does still help out at the weekend. There is plenty of time during my day to get most things done and the last thing he wants to do after a long day at work is get home and have to start ironing his shirts! It's taken a bit of time to adjust to not earning my own money, but having a family was something we both wanted and therefore sacrifices have to be made. My husband ensures I have access to money for lunch or coffee with friends or the odd night out and in return I look after the family & home. This might sound old fashioned but this way neither of us resent the other. I get help if I need it. He gets to come home to a clean house and a home cooked meal after a long day at work. He helps out with bathing and feeding at the weekend so I get a bit of time to myself then. Works for us!
Submitted by tweenyb on Wed, 19/09/2012 - 05:41.
Ok I don't iron (not sure where or is since we moved), shake clothes thoroughly before putting them on the line or dry buddi. My little one doesn't nap so everything gets done when he's in bed at night and I'm fit to drop but I get to raise him. I'm making the most of coupons, supermarket bogof offers, cook extra and freeze meals and a monthly bogof pizza from takeaway for a night off and sinful eve lol. Sign up to moneysavingexpert as they send money saving emails every week and also sell all unwanted bits n pieces on eBay etc. I have put all my CDs on my pc so flogged the lot and happy for the space too.... Not much but it helps. Good luck to all, its tough going but citizens advice can help you with benefit info too.
Submitted by RJH33 on Thu, 13/09/2012 - 13:27.
Useful article if we were still living in the stone age!! This is 2012 and today women have more choice and more rights. The advice given needs bringing up to date in order to support women who choose to go back to work as well as those who choose to stay at home.
Submitted by jiggyprawn on Wed, 18/07/2012 - 09:32.
To help financially, make sure you claim the Child Benefit you are entitled to receive; tax credits are a good way to help out as well. You could receive a decent enough amount to cover the bills. I get Child Tax Credits and Working Tax Credits. At the end of the maternity leave year it's possible to claim income support - obviously the amount is dependant on what the household income is. I am technically still employed so I am due my holiday pay once my employment ends next month. After that I am unemployed so entitled to other benefits until I am in a position to go back to work.
Submitted by Montezuma on Tue, 17/07/2012 - 18:58.
Bounty, whilst I know you have the best intentions with this article, please try to haul yourselves out of the 1950s. My DH and I decided he would stop at home to look after baby, whilst I returned to work as I had the better paid job. This article suggests that all women are tied to the kitchen by their aprons. Perhaps future articles should refer to a "Stay at home Parent".
Submitted by tinkertot11 on Mon, 16/07/2012 - 20:47.
Hi I am a first time mum. I always planned to go back to work. I am a single mum not through my choice and little ones dad is not around and does not help financially. What would we be entitled too if we did not go back to work ?.
Submitted by tonihusband on Fri, 06/07/2012 - 13:31.
Hey could someonr please give me some advice.... Im on maternity leave and before I had my son I was going to go back to work but after having him I feel totaly different and would like to be a stay at home mum, I just dont no ho make this possible the right way !!!!!!!
Submitted by tonihusband on Fri, 06/07/2012 - 13:24.
Hey can any one give me some advice..... Im on maternity leave my son is 5 mth old now. I was going to go back to work but now I feel totaly different and want to be a full time mum.COULD any one please tell me what I have to do?? Thank you x
Submitted by KimnBobby on Thu, 05/07/2012 - 11:54.
amazes me how people can live in a family (sometimes a married family) and still see money, or anything , as being "his" or "mine". In my oppinion your a family so everything belongs to the household. doesnt matter what source the money comes from, it goes into one big "pot" if you like, bills get paid, shopping done and if theres left over for treats, great. i am the sole breadwinner in my family, my partner is stay-at-home dad... the money i earn isnt mine, its ours. if one of us wants or needs something new and theres money there we get it. he doesnt ask me and i dont ask him. nobody pays his wage, but he has a job - bringing up our child on a day to day basis. he also does all the housework..nobody specifically pays him to do that but that doesnt mean he hasnt earned the odd treat where we can afford it or that he should feel he hasnt contributed to our family. he certainly doesnt need to come and ask me for pocket money like a child! we're not married, but we are a family, we share everything.
Submitted by JCM68 on Tue, 26/06/2012 - 15:42.
Really cross to click on the link in my emails saying guide to domestic bliss to end up on a article titled Stay at home mum's... don't get me wrong I would love to be a stay at home mum and good o you to all that manage it/// it just isn't financially viable.. - I tried delaying having a child till it was but once I hit 43 decided enough was enough. Bit dissapointed that Bounty have made the link between domestic bliss and staying at home..
Submitted by Mehreen83 on Wed, 20/06/2012 - 18:32.
Hi ladies Just my two cents. I'm a first-time mum of a gorgeous 8 month-old ... I was working part-time before my baby girl arrived. Now that the time is approaching to join work again, I feel like quitting my job and stay at home as I don't want to send my baby to childcare. (I wasn't earning a whole lot to begin with but this is an entirely new situation). What really helps, I think, is to simply ask your partner for a credit card -- assuming that he is now primarily the bread-earner of the household -- and agree on a monthly expenditure limit. It sounds fickle but to be honest, this one little "fickle" item can put an end to a lot of hurt feelings and unspoken bitterness. Of course since you are a responsible lady, you wouldn't go overboard and take your partner to town(!) with the credit card. So it's a win-win for everyone. Hope this helps.
Submitted by nicknack1978 on Wed, 23/05/2012 - 07:59.
You may find this useful http:www.lifeaftermaternityleave.com/howtobeastayathomemum.html Some really useful advice about being a stay at home mum - good to know that other people experiencing the same issues!
Submitted by mazasmoliugelis on Wed, 16/05/2012 - 09:19.
Hi, I have 1 year old boy and understand how you feeling... Three months ago I joined the perfume and cosmetics company, where working on my free time I can make some money and still have plenty of time to spend with my boy. It is easy and exiting at the same time. The perfumes I sell is designer perfumes where people can choose from 150 different aromas and the prices go only up to £11.99-£25 per bottle. You can develop this business into your own large and international business as it is established in more than 50 countries. From time to time you could attend them seminars that are held weekends usually and meet more women that are beautiful, well groomed, are enjoying motherhood and have them own money. Let me know if you interested;) textperfume@yahoo.co.uk All the best, Kristina
Submitted by LaLadie on Tue, 15/05/2012 - 15:46.
I think it is shocking that an article entitled "Becoming a stay at home mum" assumes that everyone who has had to do that has a partner there beside them. Shame on you, Bounty. What about the minority, but huge minority, of us who are alone, for whatever reason. We are even more in need of helpful advice!
Submitted by szilvia2011 on Tue, 17/04/2012 - 21:40.
Hello mommies, It is right to make desissions about earning money and the best feeling when u see your loved one to smile when they got small present,goodies etc.
Submitted by szilvia2011 on Tue, 17/04/2012 - 21:40.
Hello mommies, It is right to make desissions about earning money and the best feeling when u see your loved one to smile when they got small present,goodies etc.
Submitted by szilvia2011 on Tue, 17/04/2012 - 21:40.
Hello mommies, It is right to make desissions about earning money and the best feeling when u see your loved one to smile when they got small present,goodies etc.
Submitted by Livvy67 on Wed, 04/04/2012 - 14:14.
My daughter is nearly a year old, I would like to go back to work part time but my employer is being so demanding that I have lost all confidence in returning. Before becoming pregnant I was the highest wage earner in the family. I would like to find a a job working from home to earn some money but my partner is very cynical about this due to me trying a business venture in Nov 2011 which failed. Needless to say we lost money which caused even more stress between our strained relationship. I feel a failure and would love to go back to how I used to feel, confident, happy and in a loving relationship with my partner. I would say that the lack of financial stability over the past year has caused most of the rows within the household, at times I wonder its a miracle we are still together but we just keep trying to keep it all together.
Submitted by Livvy67 on Wed, 04/04/2012 - 14:11.
My daughter is nearly a year old, I would like to go back to work part time but my employer is being so demanding that I have lost all confidence in returning. Before becoming pregnant I was the highest wage earner in the family. I would like to find a a job working from home to earn some money but my partner is very cynical about this due to me trying a business venture in Nov 2011 which failed. Needless to say we lost money which caused even more stress between our strained relationship. I feel a failure and would love to go back to how I used to feel, confident, happy and in a loving relationship with my partner. I would say that the lack of financial stability over the past year has caused most of the rows within the household, at times I wonder its a miracle we are still together but we just keep trying to keep it all together.
Submitted by Beckie247 on Fri, 16/03/2012 - 11:33.
im currently on maternity i have a 8 week old son, before going onto maternity leave i worked full time in a salon, obviously my priority have changed and im looking to go back to work part time,i don't particularly enjoy my work place and my boss is making it impossible for me to go back to work, i haven't got the confidence to work in another salon, so im considering becoming a stay at home mum,my partner works full time and im worried that financially we wont be able to afford me not working so i was wondering if there would be anything we would be entitled to, to help support us?
Submitted by sugarwag on Wed, 18/01/2012 - 07:32.
I have been reading the comments with interest as i work two days per week and stay at home mum the rest of the time. As i am a teacher i also have to do planning and marking from home and my partner works an awful shift pattern. On a normal day i have to do a six mile round trip to drop my baby at nursery, work a full day, come home and do dinner, put her to bed, do work then go to bed myself- often without partner being home and. I am shattered and i used to feel guilty about going back to work but we need the money and i really like feeling a bit more like myself again. I love staying at home with my baby but it is very isolating and i lost my identity a bit. Also, my baby is so much more confident now whereas before they would scream anytime we went to baby groups etc they are happy and healthy and i think the interaction has helped her too. To make money on the side i do surveys online for vouchers and sell crafts i make eg crochet and sock monkeys which i do after i have done work and put baby to bed. I also regularly do car boots and jumble sales to get rid of stuff we no longer need. I sometimes worry that i will keel over as i am so tired but i will provide as much as i can for my child as i decided to bring them into the world. I knew that i wanted the best of both worlds so i guess i have to pay for it! God help me if we have another! Ha ha
Submitted by Beverley7 on Tue, 17/01/2012 - 21:18.
Hi faisal82, I'm a stay at home mum too, my little boy is 10 months old tomorrow. I don't know anything about envelopes I'm afraid but I've just started working part-time being my own boss as an Independant Distributor and now take my little boy with me wherever I go. We still get to spend lots of time together but meet and interact with other people so get some adult interaction too. I've been working for 3 months now, only a few hours a week, but the potential is amazing and I'm enjoying every minute. Check out www.mykleeneze.com/51609873 for more info. A party plan opportunity has just been launched in January too which adds another revenue stream as an option in addition to the catalogue distribution. I was desperate to find something that would bring in an extra income without having to return to my old job and miss my little boy growing up. He loves it, smiles away at the customers and is a great hit! Now I've got the best of both worlds - I work where, when and as often as I want to so for me it's been fantastic. It's a great opportunity for couples too. Hope this helps :o)
Submitted by Lloyd1988 on Fri, 13/01/2012 - 09:28.
I would love to be a stay at home mum but it just doesn't seem financially viable. Realisticly it will make more sense if my partner goes part time at work and does most of the child care as i am on a bigger wage than him. He is happy to do this but i can't help but feel a little annoyed, he has a degree that he has never even attempted to use and has never made any effort to get a better paid job or promotion, if he did then i might be able to to stay at home or at least go part time.
Submitted by faisal82 on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 19:09.
NEED HELP PLZ:( Im also a stay at home mum of 12months old baby.. Looking for any source to earn money from home, as one of my friend is getting around £500 a month from envelope making but she doesnt wanna let anyone know:( Searched it on internet but there are only scams:( So just asking Is there any1 any one knows a valid source of making envelopes from home? many thanks in advance
Submitted by LittleMissBubbles on Wed, 04/01/2012 - 17:24.
Childminding is an option for working and getting to stay at home with your baby...however the trade off is the kids you take in, their routine inevitably comes before your own child's..because they have to be dropped somewhere or fed or go home at certain times. You still need to set aside 20% tax and running costs..insurance, equipment, outings, paperwork, petrol, utilities, food etc is high, can be around 30% of your earnings. So you need to allow tax, ni, operating costs to strip out 40-50% of earnings and then decide if it's still worthwhile in your area..our area varies £4-£6 per hr. But as the min wage is now £6.08 if you have 2kids in at £4per hr, you will not earn £8per hr..More like £4! it is hard, physically tiring work. Oh and remember if you or your child is really sick..eg norovirus, you cannot work that day or 48hrs after...and you don't get sick pay, pension or holiday
Submitted by cfarrant on Wed, 04/01/2012 - 07:39.
I went back To full time work in September and my baby went to nursery 3 times a week. I was apprehensive to start with but after 4 months I can see how much she is thriving and loving the social side of things. She goes to her grandma on the other 2 days and has now a special bind with her as well. It's a win win situation. Of course, the down side is she constantly has a runny nose but this will help her immune system. Everyday, I can't wait to get home to see her but I never worry cos I know she's happy! Do look at several bursaries to make sure you choose the right one for you all.
Submitted by Jlove7 on Tue, 03/01/2012 - 10:31.
My mum gave up her job to bring us up, the way it worked for her was dad gave her a monthly allowance in her own account to cover shopping etc. and anything she needed so she didn't have to ask for money. She also did part time work to help out. Mum worked full time when dad was out of work and dad looked after us. You can't have it all something has to give and your family must come before anything else.
Submitted by petulienka22 on Fri, 30/12/2011 - 01:01.
Hi I'm wondering if any one can help me. I have a 4 months old baby girl. I am thinking about being full time for maybe 2 years as I want to give her everything I can while she's so small. I'm too scared to put her into nursery so young. Do any one of you know what sort of benefits you can get after my maternity stops?
Submitted by Becdolly on Wed, 02/11/2011 - 07:06.
Hi Crazycurlz. I can't help but I can let you know what we've done - I am a stay-at-home mum with our wonderful but very damanding 12 month old. I was always the one who did the majority of housework but now I'm finding it tough having to juggle everything with a partner who works from 7am until 8pm most days and some weekends. So, me and my partner sat down and had a chat before I exploded. These were our thoughts and possible pointers for you: 1)when you have your own time, make sure the partner knows what needs to be done and if it's not done when you come back, let him sort it whilst you enjoy time with your daughter again. 2)look at where you can save a bit of money and get a cleaner in as often as you can afford. They will do a thorough job and do all those bits you don't have time to get to. 3) use all the tips in the book for meals times freezing as many portions as possible so that you don't feel tied to the kitchen. 4) split up your free time so a couple of nights you have off and vice versa and stick to it. Hope these help. One other bit of advice I was given was never argue about anything that isn't truth. It doesn't matter, you both decided to have this baby so hope you can look after it equally - it should be a joy. Finally, if you are at the end of your tether and feel that you are not respected could you take on one of the jobs and have him at home for a couple of days? Or how about a two day holiday, a weekend away (first for you and then for the whole family). Anyway, good luck and I hope this helps a little
Submitted by crazycurlz on Wed, 26/10/2011 - 22:58.
can someone please help?? i feel like im at the end of my tether!!! my partner has two jobs and works 60 hours a week is a very hardworking man but doesent do anything around the house and although he loves our daughter , doesent really do much with her either as he is always to tired. I do make sure when he has a day off or holiday that i escape for a few hours but he goes to his mums with her and on the very rare occassions he is alone at home with her nothing gets done in the house so he doesent realise what i do. awae sometimes argue about it and he says " let me be the man and work and you bring up our baby". I stopped my job of 8 years and decided to have a baby with himbecause he has no children. I already have four older children from a previous relationship. Any advice would be appreciated . Thanks ...
Submitted by leannehamilton on Wed, 26/10/2011 - 20:06.
hey i am a 19 year old i have 5 weeks left and am comin a 1st time mum and i wantd to come a full time mum for the wains 1st year of life. I was jus wondering will i cope financiali. I want to do the best i can for the baby and spend 1st year with him. I do wana become a teacher or midwife n the future.
Submitted by MangaNaomi on Mon, 24/10/2011 - 17:14.
I'm almost 10 weeks. I'm hoping to become a childminder when my maternity leave runs out. A couple of friends mums do it and make an ok living at. I think they get £4.20ish a child per hour. So looking after 2 plus my own Im hoping is mangeable. Plus theres lots of trips to local playgrounds and the library storytime so its a great way of getting out and about and having a support network. I'll have my own income, (it'll be a higher wage than I get now but I'll have to put money aside for holidays and NI) and I can raise my own little one instead of handing them over to strangers or getting stressed out by struggling to earn enough to pay people to look after my kid and having no money at the end. I hoping the plan works out and I get to be my own boss;)
Submitted by Georginaroberts86 on Mon, 24/10/2011 - 08:13.
HI im only 15weeks pregnant and already starting to think ahead. I have been financially independent since I was 16 (i'm now 25) and although it has been hard at the same time it has also been rewarding. When I first became pregnant I was adamant that I would work as long as physically possible as I am self employed and get back to work as soon as possible. The thing is the idea of being in the house all day scares me and although my husband and I (along with his parents) have a busy dairy farm to run I worried I'll miss out on being part of the team and loose the pride I have in the family business. All this aside, it has taken me a while along with my husbands support to admit and understand that although I will be inside looking after the family it doesnt mean that my role in the family farm will be any less significant. I think it is important to realise that both myself and my husband will always be working as a team regardless of where are jobs and duties are situated. We have already looked at allocating money for my personal use (like keeping shoes on my horse so I can get some me time). This has made me feel better because there is nothing worse in my opinion than asking for money especially from a loved one. Yes money will be tight must the cost of childcare is so expensive it has made me realise financially what me staying at home is worth other than the obvious benefits!
Submitted by reetwirler on Wed, 19/10/2011 - 11:02.
Hi every one i am pregnant with my 1st child and am so excited but would like some help. I am wanting to quit work as if i work my wage would just go on childcare and i would rather it go towards my bills, my husband works but im worrying what i will be entitited too? Can anyone help i never ever thought of money while trying for a baby but not sure how i will cope??
Submitted by gonzopete on Tue, 18/10/2011 - 18:02.
This is our first child and we decided that I would be a stay at home Dad. Your article is very one sided and dare I say a touch sexist. Many more men are staying home and taking care of the children than in previous years. I love spending time at home with my son and would much rather bring him up personally and have a little less money than have a stranger in daycare witnessing all his important moments and charging me for the privilege. For those of you nervous about the idea, don't be. Its not as demanding or difficult as this article might lead you to believe and with a bit of care and some common sense you'll be enjoying every minute of it :)
Submitted by Angelmomma on Wed, 12/10/2011 - 18:28.
This is my first child. I am very nervous as my partner and I have agreed that I become a stay at home mummy. Im sure money wouldnt be a problem for us as I heard I will get income support until my partner works. And I will get Child tax to help pay for littlen. Me and my partner have a motto "whats mine is yours" so we have learnt not to argue about money. Housework and stuff has always been one of my main tasks anyway so it hopefully will have no affect on me :D xx
Submitted by acox75 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 14:16.
This is our 1st baby and I will not be returning to work. I can't wait! I would much rather be at home with my baby than at work wondering if he/she is being looked after. My husband is very supportive and always helps with household chores and everything else!. We share our all our money anyway so I won't feel like I can't get make up, clothes, etc... when I'm not working. It is important to make time to communicate with each other to help things run along smoother.
Submitted by olive93 on Thu, 22/09/2011 - 10:13.
I am a stay at home mum to a 3yr old and 11 mth old. It is hard work but so rewarding. The hardest thing I find is not having my own money.
Submitted by demurtales on Thu, 15/09/2011 - 11:45.
Being a mum is a very hard work. I know now that you can't understand till you become one and staying at home doing always the same works and much more is exhausting. Somethimes I feel as if I have a deadline with my boss always checking on me (my husband). I'm glad I'm going back to work so everything will be shared 50/50 with my husband and I will get part of my life back. On the other side I know I will be missing my little star but I even know that I will be more alive when I will be with her.