The first time you hear your child swear tends to induce shocked laughter, the second time embarrassed horror and the third time panicked fear that your child’s going to be mouthing expletives all the way through nursery, school and beyond.

The good news is this isn’t the case. Here’s how stop your child from turning swearing into a bad habit.

Why kids swear

“The main source of swear words is usually parents,” says educational psychologist Lucy Fellow. “Kids pick up the offending words simply because they hear us say them, usually in a moment of anger or frustration, hence being able to then say the word in the right context.” If your home, however, is an expletive free zone, then the chances are your child is picking his colourful language up in nursery/preschool/school.

Do they know they’re swearing?

Even though a child as young as two years old is able to swear in context, they don’t have any knowledge that they are swearing. This is because toddlers learn the feelings behind words from you. How you look and act when you say something tells them volumes about a word. Mum Amy Lewis couldn’t agree more. “I always get road rage in the car but didn’t think I swore that much till I heard my two year old let rip with an array of foul swear words that I know I use when he couldn’t get his shoes on at nursery.”

What’s unacceptable language for children?

While we all have different swear words that we find offensive, “What’s important”, says Lucy Fellow, “is not what you find acceptable but to work out how your child will be perceived if he/she says that word.” Think particularly about what might offend and upset others (sexual swearing and religious swearing) and cause your child to be judged harshly.

What should I do when my child swears?

Hard as it is stay calm and clearly say - ‘No we don’t use that word’ or ‘No, I don’t want to hear that word.’ The idea is to set language rules for your child to follow and not give him too much attention that encourages him to do it again. If it persists use consequences each time they swear – no TV, earlier bedtime, no treats.

How to stop your child swearing

1. Watch your own language when your child is around. Make sure the whole family is consistent and in agreement about language rules or you’ll give your child mixed messages.
2. If your child is picking up swear words from his peer group (or a friend’s older sibling) talk to the relevant parent or teacher. It’s important your child gets the same message about swearing at home and out in the world.
3. Replace the swear word your child uses the most with a non-offensive word that they can use if they need to express their anger of frustration.
4. Watch what your child is viewing. Kids TV aside, mainstream programmes are littered with swear words.
5. Don’t laugh or get angry if your child swears. Laughing encourages them to say it again in order to please you, while getting angry tells them that it’s a great way to get your attention or show you that they are angry.