Pregnancy is an exciting time, but it is normal to feel nervous, and for women facing pregnancy alone, the anxiety can be greater.
Fortunately, there are lots of practical things you can do to help you enjoy your pregnancy and prepare for the birth, and life with your new baby.
Build a network of support
- Having someone to keep you company at midwife and hospital appointments will help you feel less anxious, give you someone to share the excitement with and reduce any sense of isolation you might feel among the other couples. It might be a member of your family or a friend – ideally someone who’s had a baby themselves.
- Think about who you want as your birth partner. It might be a friend or family member, but alternatively, you might want to find a doula. A doula – or birth supporter – is a woman who provides emotional and practical support during the birth, and the days and weeks afterwards. Most doulas charge a fee, but some are volunteers. If you are looking for a doula, ask about their approach and compare what is available. You can get more information from the Doula UK website (www.doula.org.uk).
- Pregnancy is a good time to find out about networks and groups for new mothers such as those organised by Sure Start (www.surestart.gov.uk), Home Start, the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) (www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com) or the Meet A Mum Association www.mama.co.uk. You can also meet other new mums online – the Bounty forums are home to a busy community of women, many of who have faced pregnancy alone and will understand your feelings.
Arm yourself with knowledge about pregnancy, birth and parenting
Forewarned is forearmed, and the better informed you are about pregnancy, childbirth and early motherhood, the better prepared you will be to cope with it.
Organisations like the NCT and Gingerbread, the charity for one-parent families, have a wealth of information on pregnancy, birth and early motherhood. Gingerbread’s new Young Mum’s Guide, aimed at parents and parents-to-be aged under 25, is packed with information, advice and ideas about what to do, who to ask and where to go for help, and you can download a series of factsheets on different aspects of parenting, including financial support.
Get the right financial support
Finances are the biggest worry for single parents-to-be, says Julie Mitchell, parenting adviser at Gingerbread. It’s not surprising: the area of financial support is complex and constantly changing, so people often miss out, she says.
The good news is that there is much more financial support available than most people realise, and understanding what you are entitled to can ease your financial situation considerably.
Visit our Money and Work pages for everything you need to know about money, tax and benefits, plus advice on budgeting for a baby and money tip for single parents.
Education and skills
Pregnancy is a good time take a step back and consider your options. For example you could ask your employer about returning to work on a part-time or flexible basis.
“As a lone parent I couldn’t bear the idea of trying to juggle a full-time job with a new baby,” says one mum, who used her son’s birth as an opportunity to fulfil a long-held ambition to go freelance and work part-time from home.
Genny Jones, a freelance trainer affiliated to Gingerbread, says there are a number of different home-based work opportunities for new mothers. “You could use your maternity leave to learn how to do face painting really well, or look into becoming a child minder or a home tutor, for example,” she says.
- Help with childcare expenses is available through the tax credits system, and you could get up to 80% off the costs of childcare with a registered provider.
- Help is also at hand for women who have been working less than 16 hours per week. The New Deal for Lone Parents, run through Jobcentre Plus, is specifically designed to help lone parents into work. It offers a package of support, including help with finding and applying for jobs, help finding childcare and training, and advice on the benefits you are entitled to once you start work.
Looking after yourself
With so many things to think about, it is important that you remember to look after yourself – both physically and mentally – during pregnancy. Eating well, exercising, spending time with friends and making time for yourself will help to keep you feeling healthy. But above all, it’s important to stay positive, says Jones.
“Pregnancy is an emotional time, and you have to accept and acknowledge those emotions,” she says. “But remember that this child is the future, and the future is full of hope.”
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