She’s out partying till the early hours. You’re in bed by 9.30pm. She’s buying Kate Moss at Top-Shop, you’re squeezing into XL in Mothercare.

There's nothing like a baby/pregnancy to change your friendship. If a small person/bump is coming between you and your best friend here’s how to cope:

The disinterested friend

“Jess and I used to talk about everything – now she’s not interested in my pregnancy and what I am dealing with. Whenever I talk about the baby her eyes glaze over or she starts talking about what we used to get up to. It’s really hurtful.” Kate, 30

What to do

If a friend has become disinterested the first question to ask yourself is – are you sure you’re not being a baby/pregnancy bore? “While it’s only natural to be preoccupied with your pregnancy or your new baby, if a friend seems disinterested it could be because the conversation has become a bit one-sided,” warns counsellor Amanda Kerrigan.

• Implement a 10-minute rule. Talk to her for ten minutes about your life, and then allow her to talk about her life for the same amount of time.
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• Focus more on the things you have in common (rather than the things you don’t) such as other friends, TV, and relationships. 
• Give yourselves both time to work through the transition period.

The jealous friend

“I know my best friend Emma is desperate to conceive (she’s been trying for three years) and so I am trying to be play down being pregnant but her jealousy is making her mean and making me feel guilty at a time when I should be happy.” Ellie, 28

What to do

While ideally your friends should be happy for you and give you the emotional support you need it’s also important to understand that some friends, for their own reasons will not be able to give it to you. This doesn’t mean you have to take what they throw at you, but more that you have to be sensitive about what’s happening and talk about it with them before your friendship is lost:

• Try really listening to what your friend has to say about her situation but at the same time be clear about how she’s making you feel. Honesty on both sides is what will save your friendship.
• Try to understand that your friend might need some need time and space to find her way to cope.
• Remember this is about her issues, not your pregnancy/baby. It may feel like it’s about your baby, but it’s not.

The demanding friend

“Liz regularly arrives at my place with bottles of wine. She doesn’t get it that I am exhausted and breastfeeding and don’t want to drink and chat until 1 am. When I try to tell her she says I’ve changed and don’t have time for her anymore.” Allie, 32

What to do

Pregnancy and motherhood changes everyone but you don’t have to feel guilty about this, says Amanda, “Demanding friends are often used to getting a large share of your time and can’t let go of this even when they know they should so it’s up to you to set new ground rules.”

To cope with a demanding friend you need to make time for her but in a new way that gives her boundaries:

• Explain why you can’t (and won’t) take 3 am calls or drink all night but emphasize that it’s still you.
• Get your partner to baby-sit once a month or meet her during the day for lunch. 
• Build new time for her but within the boundaries of what you can now afford in terms of energy and time.

The no-show friend

“Since I have had Molly, my best friend has cut me off. She came to visit once for half an hour and I haven’t seen her since. She’s single and always has an excuse when I ask her out but it’s clear she no longer considers me a friend.” Helen, 34

What to do

Some friendships just don’t make the transition and while this is hurtful it’s important to realise that for every friend you lose, you will make new friends, who will be there for you and for your child.

“Nothing bonds women quite like pregnancy, and new babies,” says Amanda. So even if you’re skeptical about ‘mummy’ friends be open to new mothers who come your way. Aside from being an excellent source of support, being friends with someone in the same boat as you will give you:

• A connection that can often lead to a lifelong friendship.
• A lifeline when things get hard.
• Someone to happily ‘bore’ with your baby stories

The been-there-done-that friend

“As soon as I announced I was pregnant, Natalie was over with books on natural childbirth and leaflets about breastfeeding. I’m happy she’s happy for me, but her constant advice of how I should be a mother is wearing me down.” Becky, 28

What to do

“Over zealous mother friends can be hard to deal with,” admits Amanda, “and they are like this because they are so happy someone’s about to join their team. Be clear that while you’re grateful for advice you’re going to do things your way.”

Let a friend dictate how you should be doing things, or let a friendship just be about babies and sore nipples and you’re not going to get what you need from the relationship. With mummy friends or old friends always keep things on an even keel by:

• Making sure your chats cover more than pregnancy and babies.
• Only asking for advice and help when you really need it.
• Being honest when you feel a friend is over stepping the mark.