My 3 year old is so shy!

Your questions answered by Jeni Hooper of Greatvine.com

My 3 year old is so shy and doesn’t seem to play with other kids at nursery. How can I help her to make friends?

Many 3 year olds are happy to play alongside other children and to keep their games separate. This is a natural part of learning to play. Small children have so many new skills to practice that they become fully absorbed. If she seems happy to be in company but is focused on what she is doing, then this is right for her. She will be noticing what others are doing but will prefer to try things out on her own. She may be attracted to particular children and may position herself near by.

Arrange a play date

Ask the nursery staff to tell you who they think she likes, and then you could arrange a play date with the other children and their parents. Just being together at Nursery is a good social experience for her.

Children usually start to play cooperative games with others in their 4th year but may play physical games like chasing and climbing before this. If she doesn’t like boisterous games, you could ask the nursery staff how she gets on with games that are led by adults. Many younger children find the structure provided by organised games helps them to join in.

Jeni Hooper

Jeni Hooper is a chartered psychologist and parent coach with a Master’s degree in educational psychology. Jeni specialises in family coaching, offering parents practical techniques to help them bond with their children, adjust to the different stages of childhood and overcome difficult behaviour. For individual advice you can trust, book a private phone call with Jeni at www.greatvine.com/jeni_hooper