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Family-fun

The things I will NOT do this Christmas…

I will NOT make the same mistakes I made last year

We all vow to learn from our mistakes, so here is our 'I will NOT' do list for this Christmas

With Christmas fast approaching, there are endless must-do lists from presents to food, sorting the house and many more, but what do you NOT want to do this Christmas? Here is our top things to avoid this Christmas…what would you add?

The mum fails I intend to avoid this Christmas

  • I will try and learn from previous mistakes and NOT make them again this year

Mum burning Christmas dinner

1. I will NOT burn the turkey

This year I vow not to get distracted by a sneaky glass of Baileys and forget to check the turkey that is set to feed my entire family, they did not ask for it ‘flame grilled’.

2. I will NOT even buy sprouts

Tradition or not, I will not even bother buying the sprouts this year, I hate cooking them, no one ever eats them, and they stink!

3. I will NOT let the kids decorate the tree

I will only let the kids decorate the part of the tree that backs on to the wall. They have no colour coordination and always stick all the decorations in one spot.

4. I will NOT insist on a walk

I will NOT think it is a good idea to go for a long family walk and end up carrying a well laden toddler home because he’s too tired to walk anymore.

5. I will NOT buy the most expensive toy in the shop

I will not waste my money buying the most expensive toy in the shop, I will simply find a very large cardboard box and wrap that as the gift as they find this much more entertaining than what is inside.

6. I will NOT let the kids eat all their chocolate in the morning

I will not let the kids eat every bit of their chocolate in their stockings as soon as they get up, so hopefully by the time my delicious turkey dinner is ready they are not ready to throw up.

7. I will NOT spend Christmas day sorting rubbish

I will not spend my day surgically attached to a bin bag chasing round to collect all the discarded wrapping paper, I will save this job for Boxing Day.

8. I will NOT say to everyone in the street ‘pop in for a drink’

Because they will.

Young girl decorating Christmas tree 

9. I will NOT insist everyone wears a Christmas jumper

I will not tell all my guests to wear a Christmas jumper and spend £10 each on ones for the kids, for them to be worn all of 2 minutes.

10. I will NOT force the kids to wait until after breakfast to open their presents

They can open their Christmas presents immediately, waiting only creates World War 3 and is just not worth the grief.

11. I will NOT force everyone to play a ‘fun’ family board game

The words fun and game are lost as the kids don’t understand what to do, there’s always that one over-competitive family member who turns it into a chore and I end up throwing in the towel.

12. I will NOT let slip to someone else’s child that Father Christmas doesn’t exist

I will scan the room before sharing with others what I have bought the kids and credited Father Christmas with.

13. I will NOT come over all ‘Bake Off’ and fail miserably at a gingerbread house

I will not forget that I am no Nigella Lawson and suddenly believe that I can create a delicious, beautiful gingerbread house just because it’s Christmas.

14. I will NOT finish off all the sweets no one likes

I will not find myself finishing off all the orange and brown foil wrapped chocolates no one else likes, I don’t like them either.

15. I will NOT fall asleep during the EastEnders Christmas special

Actually, I probably will.

The mum fails I intend to avoid this Christmas

  • I will try and learn from previous mistakes and NOT make them again this year

The things I will NOT do this Christmas…