Make it a Home Date and rekindle the romance
Make date night at home as romantic as possible, here’s how
Babysitters aren’t cheap, grandparents and friends may not be available when you want them – and those pesky agony aunts are forever telling you it’s really important to keep up your couple relationship and have romantic dates. How can you manage? Easy – welcome to the Home Date.
Plan ahead. Remember when you were fancy free? Bet you’d send each other sexy texts and reminders that you were going out that night and even what you’d like to do to each other at the end of the evening. So keep that up! Rekindle the romance. Send notes, texts and pop a loving post-it note on the bathroom mirror to prompt each other that tonight’s the night. Put your much-loved goodies on the shopping list and make sure your favourite clothes are ready for the evening.
Be spontaneous! But it doesn’t have to be scripted ahead of time. If you feel like it, simply let your loved one know “It’s Date Night!” – at work, on the way home, when you meet at the door. And take a deep breath – even if you’re not exactly in the mood, make an effort – playing the part rapidly results in genuine involvement.
Make a virtue of it being at home. The big advantage is you know which are the comfy seats, what’s in the fridge and drinks cupboard and where’s the remote for something sexy or romantic on screen or to dance to. All your favourites are on hand so you can benefit from them.
Keep it simple. Now is not the time to stress over cooking an extravagant meal. Either cook a no-fuss dinner together or take a batch cooked freezer meal out and spice it up with a couple of restaurant style sides to make it feel more special.
Set the Scene. Pretend you’re elsewhere. But you can summon up the excitement and thrill of an exotic and unfamiliar setting, with a little imagination and play-acting. The adventurous might go all out and put on “Midnight At The oasis” on and dress up as sheik and harem girl. Or more the more cautious might simply be happy to. Spread a picnic blanket and serve finger food – without ants and wasps, or sand everywhere! Either way be sure and light candles, throw scraps of sheer material over lampshades so the light is dimmed and rainbow coloured (make sure you have energy saving, cold bulbs that are not a fire hazard!) and you can feel you’re a thousand miles away, somewhere magical.
Ban baby talk. The point of a date is it’s for you as a couple to enjoy – to cherish each other and remake your ties to one another. There are other times when you can and should sit down and talk about your shared role as parents and your baby and how they’re doing. But Date Night is sacrosanct – you and your partner, alone.
Play “What I’d really like is…” You can ask for something sexy you’ve never tried before – no holds barred. Or maybe a massage with scented oils, or a shower together. Or something apparently boring but that would ring your bells – “It would be so lovely if you’d take the rubbish out every day for a week!” You could write them all down and put yours and your partner’s in separate containers, and agree to take out one a day, turn and turn about. One kindness pays for another.
Bounty “Sex & Relationship” articles are written by expert Suzie Hayman. Suzie is agony aunt for Woman magazine, a Relate trained counsellor, and an accredited TripleP (Positive Parenting Programme) parenting educator. She makes frequent appearances on TV and radio and as well as writing 31 books, Suzie writes features on parenting, relationships, sex and couples counselling, for a wide range of national magazines and newspapers