Try massage to reignite intimacy
Massaging each other is a great way to reconnect with each other especially in the manic “fourth trimester”
Going out of your way a little to love and pleasure each by reconnecting your bodies will most certainly help you begin to reap the benefits of loving touch. After all, babies love to be tickled, cats purr when stroked and dogs wag their tails when patted.
We all love having our bodies touched and caressed, and nothing is quite as pleasurable as a massage. You can use massage to soothe and comfort, to show love and care. And you can also use it as a dynamite prelude to love-making. It’s not all about love-making, massage can simply be a great way for you to reconnect as a couple and enjoy helping each other relax.
How can you massage each other sensually? You don’t actually need to start off as a massage expert – it’s a skill that you can learn and teach each other. Because the key is that everyone is different and the touches and strokes that pleasure you and your partner are likely to be quite individual. So, it’s just part of the fun to explore what would feel good. Start with sensual, getting your bodies sensitised and alerted, and then if you’re feeling comfortable move to sexual.
Make your partner comfortable. Turn up the heating so there are no goose-bumps and spread out a blanket or towel on the floor, sofa or bed. Take care your hands are warm and pour a generous amount of body lotion or oil into your palms and rub together to make sure it’s warm too. Ask your partner to lie face down, straddle their back and begin.
Stroke, kneed and rub neck and shoulders, and down each arm to hands and fingers. Return to the back and knead gently down to the buttocks and down legs to feet and toes. Ask them to turn over and go back up the front of their legs to belly and chest. All the time as you stroke, rub and knead pay attention to their responses so you can skate lightly over bits they don’t appreciate being manipulated and linger on bits they really do. You’ll soon recognise what they like.
Once you’ve given an all over massage, swap places and let your partner have a turn at giving you pleasure. Remind each other that touches they like may not be the ones you respond to. And vice versa – just because they twitch away from or don’t respond to a manipulation doesn’t mean you will too.
Once both of you are relaxed and really enjoying this, swap back and this time make the touches and caresses more sexual. Touch erogenous zones – and you may be surprised to find areas of the body you hadn’t thought to be particularly sexually sensitive – and aim towards arousing and satisfying each other. Of course, you might find you can’t wait to go further even though both of you haven’t had your full massage yet. Make a promise if this happens you’ll make it even with a relaxing massage after sex.
Whatever you choose, laying on hands can really spice up your love life.
Bounty “Sex & Relationship” articles are written by expert Suzie Hayman. Suzie is agony aunt for Woman magazine, a Relate trained counsellor, and an accredited TripleP (Positive Parenting Programme) parenting educator. She makes frequent appearances on TV and radio and as well as writing 31 books, Suzie writes features on parenting, relationships, sex and couples counselling, for a wide range of national magazines and newspapers