Post pregnancy sex is a whole new adventure
Have fun with post pregnancy sex and try some new positions
Many parents-to-be promise each other, and the world, that parenthood won’t change them. And then they find that so much has changed. You’re no longer just individuals, you’re parents as well.
You’re no longer a couple, there are three of you. And you no longer have only yourselves and your own schedules to take care of, but the demands of a baby who won’t and can’t be put on hold. So, with so many changes going on, why not ring a few of your own, for fun? Why not take control and expand your repertoire of sexual positions?
Some sexual positions offer more opportunity for either partner to control movement during sex, allowing him or her to set the pace or alter the angle of penetration to give either or both more sensation.
Most of us begin with the basic – face to face with the man on top. In fact, even here you can experiment. Typically, the man lies in between his partner’s legs, but he can lie on top of her thighs or have one leg between hers and one outside. She can also pull her legs up so her knees rest on his chest. The so-called missionary position gives the man more control but is equally more tiring for him – if he’s not to squash his partner or hurt her, especially after childbirth, he has to be careful and hold himself up on extended arms. And it’s not always the best position for her to gain maximum pleasure.
So, another face to face position might be preferable, that of side by side where the couple lie on their sides with neither pressing down on the other. You do need to hold on to hips however or lose contact! This position is excellent for long, slow and gentle love-making.
Yet another face to face position is where the man sits upright with legs folded or stretched out in front of him and his partner sits in his lap, with her legs extended or wrapped around his body. You need to be limber and again it’s best for slow and gentle sex or you may find it hard to keep your balance. But it’s fun learning the technique.
You can also make love face to face standing up, and it helps to be able to lean against something. This form of sex is made for in-the-shower fun but be very careful of your footing – have a non-slip mat underfoot.
And a final face to face is back to woman on top. This is one of the best positions for new parents to try. With her on top she can make sure her breasts and any still fragile areas aren’t crushed. But most of all it means she can drive the angle of penetration, the tempo and the timing to give her maximum pleasure. Some women who have found it hard to keep up and have an orgasm with their partner with other positions find this is the one to really light her fire. Try rocking back and forth rather than bouncing up and down and see what works – you’re the one who went through major bodily changes so listen to what your body is telling you.
Tender areas can also be protected if he comes from behind, either ‘doggy’ style when both are on their knees. Or when lying together, ‘spooning’. Both positions also benefit from his being able to use his hands to arouse and satisfy her. If ‘all fours’ penetration feels too deep and thrusting try it flat with a pillow under your pelvis to give you a little lift. The position gives that rear entry feeling without your partner going to deep or too fast. The same goes for spooning. This lazy sex position when your partner is the big spoon, can be the perfect position for tired new parents – especially when they begin to whisper sweet nothings in your ear about how hot you are and what an amazing mama you’ve become.
Once you allow yourself to be experimental in your love making you can soon discover all sorts of variations that might not only give you sexual pleasure, but bring you closer and renew the bond that drew you together and led to your becoming parents.
Oh, and one more thing… Don forget the lube. Pain is not part of getting frisky again after having a baby so flag the this to your partner and let them know you might need some extra foreplay to get you warmed up.
Bounty “Sex & Relationship” articles are written by expert Suzie Hayman. Suzie is agony aunt for Woman magazine, a Relate trained counsellor, and an accredited TripleP (Positive Parenting Programme) parenting educator. She makes frequent appearances on TV and radio and as well as writing 31 books, Suzie writes features on parenting, relationships, sex and couples counselling, for a wide range of national magazines and newspapers