Things you want to do when pregnant...but can't
Pregnancy can make you want to do all sorts of things...but some, you just can't!
The list of do’s and don'ts in pregnancy is as long as your arm. We all know that we shouldn’t smoke or drink alcohol, steer clear of soft cheese and raw eggs and probably avoid flying in the final few weeks - but there’s a lot of stuff that people don’t tell you.
We get plenty of urges during the gestation period - and not all them are considered appropriate but sometimes, hell, we want to do them anyway.
1. Walk around naked
Body temperature is all over the place during pregnancy and while it’s tempting to strip off in public, you should probably wait until you’re in the comfort of your own home (and make sure the blinds are shut!)
2. Tell people what you really think
You sometimes feel like public property and everyone has a word of advice or a penchant to touch your bump. Sometimes you just want to scream at everyone to ‘go away’ but you don’t want to lose ALL your friends…However, don’t be afraid to politely rebuff unwanted advances.
3. Fall asleep at your desk
Work can be hard going with a bump in tow. You should at least pretend to be awake if you need to keep the job though.
4. Break wind
It’s not polite, it’s not ladylike - but oh mama do you want to do it all the time! Again, for the sake of not losing friends, discretion urged.
5. Have sex to bring on labour
It’s considered a good idea to get the ball rolling, but if you’re a week overdue and you usually go on top, you may find it a bit of a challenge, physically speaking. Plus your other half may need some convincing.
6. Shout at the doctor
Especially when she reproaches you for your weight gain. It’s tempting, but it wasn’t her who stuffed her face with cream cakes for the entire pregnancy. And you don’t want to get barred from the GP surgery!
7. Sleep comfortably
Almost impossible in the third trimester. And if you try rolling over to get into a better spot, you may end up stuck there!
8. Just have a normal pee!
It’s almost impossible to have a ‘quick wee’ when you’re heavily pregnant. You have to negotiate your bump, public toilet doors and locks and granny knickers - and once you’ve managed to complete the task, it’s time to go again!