You're in your third trimester when...
Signs that show you have definitely reached the third trimester of your pregnancy
Most agree it’s the toughest part of a pregnancy. Once you get over the morning sickness of the first trimester, you can relish the ‘blooming’ part of the next three months, but as you approach the final furlong, might joke about how you feel massively tired and tiredly massive.
So what are the non-medical vital signs of Trimester 3?
1. You have to ask (bribe) someone to paint your toenails for a wedding because you can no longer reach - or even see - your feet.
2. Leaving the house is complicated by the fact that your feet are so swollen that none of your shoes fit.
3. You go to the toilet so many times that you consider leaving the iPad in there so you can watch Netflix.
4. Not peeing your pants can become a daily goal.
5. An undisturbed night’s sleep is a distant memory.
6. As a consequence of no. 5 you'll be craving an afternoon siesta - if only someone would let you!
7. You can’t stop eating because you feel you can’t possibly gain anymore weight.
8. Every second person asks you: When are you due? Every third person wants to know if it’s twins.
9. You want to swear at all of the above people.
10. Your doctor tuts when checking your weight - you want to swear at them too!
11. Your other half looks afraid when you suggest an early night, and then relieved when you clarify that you don’t want him to join you.
12. In fact, the only time sex crosses your mind is when you are a week late and you consider using it as leverage to ‘move things along’.
13. Even your granny would consider your underwear a little on the large side.
14. You no longer walk, you shuffle.
15. You ache in places where you didn’t know you had places.
16. You become quite attached to your stretch marks - which is good, because they’re not going anywhere.
17. Even your maternity clothes are starting to get tight. Only the baggy tracksuit bottoms do the trick.
18. You can no longer wear your wedding rings and to add insult to injury you now have ‘cankles’.
19. Everyone stares at your belly before they look at your face.
20. You forget what it’s like to NOT be pregnant.